Be Happy - Ageing is Not a Problem.

We undergo change in many ways that affect the function of both individual cells and organ systems of our body as we age. These changes occur little by little and progress inevitably over time. However, the rate of this progression can be very different from person to person. It is aging or ageing.

Ageing is the accumulation of changes in an organism or object over time. Ageing in humans refers to a multidimensional process of physical, psychological, and social change. Some dimensions of ageing grow and expand over time, while others decline. Reaction time, for example, may slow with age, while knowledge of world events and wisdom may expand. Research shows that even late in life potential exists for physical, mental, and social growth and development. Ageing is an important part of all human societies reflecting the biological changes that occur, but also reflecting cultural and societal conventions. Age is usually measured in full years — and months for young children. A person's birthday is often an important event. Roughly 100,000 people worldwide die each day due to age-related causes.

The term "ageing" is somewhat ambiguous. Distinctions may be made between "universal ageing" (age changes that all people share) and "probabilistic ageing" (age changes that may happen to some, but not all people as they grow older, such as the onset of type two diabetes. Chronological ageing, referring to how old a person is, is arguably the most straightforward definition of ageing and may be distinguished from "social ageing" (society's expectations of how people should act as they grow older) and "biological ageing" (an organism's physical state as it ages). There is also a distinction between "proximal ageing" (age-based effects that come about because of factors in the recent past) and "distal ageing" (age-based differences that can be traced back to a cause early in person's life, such as childhood poliomyelitis)

Genetic and Environmental Factors

The Ageing process depends on a combination of both genetic and environmental factors. Recognizing that every individual has his or her own unique genetic makeup and environment, which interact with each other, helps us understand why the Ageing process can occur at such different rates in different people. Overall, genetic factors seem to be more powerful than environmental factors in determining the large differences among people in Ageing and lifespan. There are even some specific genetic disorders that speed up the Ageing process, such as Hutchinson-Gilford, Werner’s, and Down syndromes. However, many environmental conditions, such as the quality of health care that you receive, have a substantial effect on Ageing. A healthy lifestyle is an especially important factor in healthy Ageing and longevity. These environmental factors can significantly extend lifespan.

Behaviors of a Healthy Lifestyle
o Not smoking
o Drinking alcohol in moderation
o Exercising
o Getting adequate rest
o Eating a diet high in fruits and vegetables
o Coping with stress
o Having a positive outlook

Cellular Changes Associated with Ageing
Ageing causes functional changes in cells. For example, the rate at which cells multiply tends to slow down as we age. Certain cells which are important for our immune system to work properly (called T-cell lymphocytes) also decrease with age. In addition, age causes changes in our responses to environmental stresses or exposures, such as ultraviolet light, heat, insufficient oxygen, poor nutrition, and toxins (poisons) among others.

Age also interferes with an important process called apoptosis, which programs cells to self-destruct or die at appropriate times. This process is necessary for tissues to remain healthy, and it is especially important in slowing down immune responses once an infection has been cleared from the body.

Different diseases that are common in elderly people can affect this process in different ways. For example, cancer results in a loss of apoptosis. The cancer cells continue to multiply and invade or take over surrounding tissue, instead of dying as originally programmed. Other diseases may cause cells to die too early. In Alzheimer’s disease, a substance called amyloid builds up and causes the early death of brain cells, which results in a progressive loss of memory and other brain functions. Toxins produced as byproducts of nerve-cell transmissions are also thought to be involved in the death of nerve cells in Parkinson’s disease.

Bodily Changes Associated with Ageing
Our bodies normally change in appearance as we age.

Changes in Height
We all lose height as we age, although when the height loss begins and how quickly it progresses vary quite a bit among different people. Generally, our height increases until our late forties and then decreases about two inches by age 80. The reasons for height loss include the following:
• changes in posture
• changes in the growth of vertebrae (the bones that make up the spine)
• a forward bending of the spine
• compression of the discs between the vertebrae
• increased curvature of the hips and knees
• decreased joint space in the trunk and extremities
• joint changes in the feet
• flattening of the arches
The length of the bones in our legs does not change much.
Changes in Weight
In men, body weight generally increases until their mid-fifties; then it decreases, with weight being lost faster in their late sixties and seventies. In women, body weight increases until the late sixties and then decreases at a rate slower than that of men.

People that live in less technologically developed societies do not show this pattern of weight change. This suggests that reduced physical activity and changes in eating habits may be causes of the change in body weight rather than the Ageing process.

Changes in Body Composition
The proportion of the body that is made up of fat doubles between age 25 and age 75. Exercise programs may prevent or reverse much of the proportional decrease in muscle mass and increase in total body fat. This change in body composition is important to consider in nutritional planning and level of activity. The change in body composition also has an important effect on how the body handles various drugs. For example, when our body fat increases, drugs that are dissolved in fatty tissues remain in the body much longer than when our body was younger and more muscular.

Other Changes with Ageing
Normal Ageing in the absence of disease is a remarkably benign process. In other words, our body can remain healthy as we age. Although our organs may gradually lose some function, we may not even notice these changes except during periods of great exertion or stress. We may also experience slower reaction times.

Normal Ageing and Disease
Ageing and disease are related in subtle and complex ways. Several conditions that were once thought to be part of normal Ageing have now been shown to be due to disease processes that can be influenced by lifestyle. For example, heart and blood vessel diseases are more common in people who eat a lot of meat and fat. Similarly, cataract formation in the eye largely depends on the amount of exposure to direct sunlight.

We should remember that there is a range of individual response to Ageing. Biologic and chronologic ages are not the same. In addition, body systems do not age at the same rate within any individual. For example, you might have severe arthritis or loss of vision while the function of your heart or kidneys is excellent. Even those Ageing changes that are considered "usual" or "normal" are not inevitable consequences of Ageing.

Changes in the Regulation of Body Systems
The way our body regulates certain systems changes with age. Some examples are listed below.
o Progressive changes in the heart and blood vessels interfere with your body’s ability to control blood pressure.
o Your body cannot regulate its temperature as it could when you were younger. This can result in dangerously low body temperature from prolonged exposure to the cold or in heat stroke if the outside temperature is too high.
o There may be Ageing -related changes in your body’s ability to develop a fever in response to an infection.
o The regulation of the amount and makeup of body fluids is slowed down in healthy older persons. Usual (resting) levels of the hormones that control the amount of body fluids are unchanged, but problems in fluid regulation commonly develop during illness or other stress. Also, elderly people don’t feel as thirsty after water deprivation as they did when younger.
What do these age-related changes in our body systems mean?
o First, with advancing age, we become less like each other biologically, so our health care needs to be more individualized.
o Body systems that can be minimally affected by age are often profoundly influenced by lifestyle behaviors such as cigarette smoking, physical activity, and nutritional intake, and by circumstances such as financial means.
o Finally, it’s helpful to consider ahead of time our possible choices in case certain situations arise. For example, if you become less physically able to take part in an athletic activity you did before, is there a different activity you might enjoy? Are there things you might like to do to keep your mind active? More serious situations to consider might include death of a spouse, or if you find your abilities becoming more and more limited. Have you discussed how you would like to handle such situations and your wishes with your family?

It is important to remember that the ability to learn and adjust continues throughout life and is strongly influenced by interests, activities, and motivation. With years of rich experience and reflection, we can rise above our own circumstances. Old age, despite the physical limitations, can be a time of variety, creativity, and fulfillment.

Protect an Ageing Body
Start to protect your body and prepare for the Ageing process today, no matter what age you are. Developing good eating and exercise habits early in life will carry you through your twilight years with energy and vitality to spare. Important habits include regular exercise, eating a healthy diet and developing an active mind. Limit your consumption of alcohol and refined carbohydrates in favor of whole grain, nutritious choices that provide your body and brain with the fuel they need to thrive. Avoid saturated fat and processed sugars as they increase your risk for heart disease and diabetes. Stay hydrated and avoids soda as it saps calcium from your body and leaves you prone to broken bones later in life.

Compound the benefits of a healthy diet with at least 4 hours of exercise each week. Recent studies have suggested that some types of exercise are more beneficial than others for cognitive ability, but all exercise is certain to lower your risk for heart disease and obesity. Exercise increases your blood circulation, which increases blood flow to your brain, nourishing the organ and promoting healthy functioning. With exercise, researchers have generally found that more is better and scientists and doctors alike encourage people to get as much exercise as possible without putting yourself at risk for injury.

An active mind can be a difficult thing to quantify but generally means that you are always challenging yourself and learning new things. Reading, engaging in a diversity of conversations and continually exposing yourself to new experiences are all helpful in cultivating an active mind. Learn a new sport, listen to a new genre of music, take a continuing education class at your local community college or start a book club with your friends. The most important part may be continually switching it up so that your mind stays engaged, which can stimulate new neuron firing patterns and extend your mental prowess.

The following steps may also help you in this regard.

1. Exercise.
Several sets of clinical trials and research compilations recently published in the Archives of Internal Medicine reinforce the belief that exercise is an important element in warding off dementia and promoting cognitive abilities. Researchers in British Columbia found that resistance training is most helpful in promoting cognitive skills such as memory, decision-making and conflict resolution skills.

In a separate study conducted in Germany, researchers found that after two years of regular cardiovascular exercise elderly study participants were half as likely to have developed dementia than their less active counterparts. It is believed that regular exercise promotes blood flow to the brain and may stimulate nerve-ending growth.

2. Eat well.
Include lots of fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and omega 3 acids in your diet. Concentrate on antioxidant-packed produce like spinach, garlic and blueberries. The antioxidants fight free radicals in your system and slow down the Ageing process. Generally the more colorful a fruit or vegetable the higher its concentration of antioxidants, so try to include five colors in your diet each day.

In addition to fruits and vegetables, make fish or flax seeds a regular part of your diet. Both foods supply omega 3, a fatty acid that has been linked to healthy brain function. Digest fats in the form of seeds, olive oil, avocados and nuts. Regular absorption of unsaturated fat is essential to healthy brain function and in addition, nuts, seeds and certain oils are a good source of vitamin E, thought to ward off Alzheimer's. Eat every three to four hours to provide steady fuel for your brain and body functions.
3. Drink well.
Fill up on water, coffee, tea and fresh squeezed juices. Leave sugar-packed soda, pre-prepared juice and most kinds of alcohol at the store. Water aids in food digestion and helps flush toxins out of your system. Coffee and caffeinated tea have antioxidant powers that increase cognitive functioning. Herbal teas contain compounds that ease digestion, calm frazzled nerves and boost the immune system. Fresh squeezed juice, in moderate amounts, contains a supercharge of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals.
In contrast sugar-laden juice, soda and alcohol induce high blood pressure, weight gain and diabetes. Indulge in these beverage choices only occasionally to promote a healthy lifestyle.

4. Never stop learning.
While there has been no direct link between activities like crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles or Sudoku and cognitive improvement, it is widely accepted that continuously challenging your mind leads to stronger cognitive function.

Robin Nixon, writing for Live Science, attributed this relationship to the "use it or lose it" theory, stating that the same way that exercise keeps our bodies fit and nimble, new thought processes keep our minds flexible. She points out that there are many ways to exercise and engage your mind and suggests individuals focus on the activities that they enjoy most.

5. Don't stress.
Stress is toxic. It makes you sick, it's bad for your heart and it may even impair your brain function. In December 2007, the journal for the Association for Psychological Science reported that "stress hormones inhibit neuron growth in parts of the hippocampus" which results in memory impairments. They also reported that stress appears to be cumulative, meaning that the effects on your health will worsen over time.

Learn to manage the stress in your life today through activities such as deep breathing (the fight-or-flight response triggered by stress speeds respiration), journal writing, effective problem management and light reading.

6. Record your health.
Stay on top of all recommended health testing so that you can handle problems in a proactive manner. Schedule regular bone density tests, cholesterol tests and eye exams. Monitor your blood pressure. Men should have prostate exams and women should have mammograms and regular pap smears to detect cancerous cells in these potential problem areas early. Keep a health journal so that you can be clear about symptoms and concerns at doctor's visits.

Be Happy - Ageing is Not a Problem.

Be Happy - Family Makes You Happy.

As we understand, man is a social animal and likes to live in family. A family is considered to be an exclusive group of people sharing a close relationship —a unit traditionally composed of a mated couple and their dependent children by procreation or adoption having co-residence. Not only humans, many other species form groups that have similarities to human "family" which we often call as packs.

One of the primary functions of a couple mating is to meet their biological need and procreate. After getting children, they look after till they attain maturity. From the perspective of children, the family is a family of orientation: the family serves to locate children socially and plays a major role in their enculturation and socialization. From the point of view of the parent(s), the family is a family of procreation, the goal of which is to produce, enculturate and socialize children. A conjugal family includes only the husband, the wife, and unmarried children who are not of age. The most common form of this family is regularly referred to in sociology as a nuclear family.

At an early stage of development, a group of humans, say 30 to 100 people, had been formed to live in Open, elliptical camps with Simplistic technology. They practiced hunting and gathering most of the time. Women used to gather 80% of food supply, plant, manage distribution of food, care for children and build/repair shelters. Men were supposed to hunt, prepare the fields, care for children and build structures and children were there to help to gather food. Discipline was passive and they were cared for by siblings, parents, and other adults. At that time, the general ideology of these groups was typically egalitarian (no hierarchy of power; men, women, children cooperate) and monogamous. There were trial marriages, divorce not common, nor traumatic with no wealth to divide.

The rapid Industrialization dramatically changed the role of the family as an institution and unit of socialization. With the development of capitalism, the "nuclear family" concept arose. In physical context, we see solid permanent structures; doors close off families from one another, organized agriculture and flocks, private property with wider political and social contact. We see division of labor women and girls doing preservation and preparation of foods and remaining as domestic. Men and boys are there to care for flocks with broader social knowledge and ties. Some of them have groomed up themselves as public leaders. Marriage and divorce became more formalized (parents take control).

However, in the western society the single parent family has been growing more accepted and has begun to truly make an impact on culture. The majority of single parent families are more commonly single mother families than single father. These families face many difficult issues besides the fact that they have to rear their children on their own, but also have to deal with issues related to low income. Many single parents struggle with low incomes and must cope with other issues, including rent, child care, and other necessities required in maintaining a healthy and safe home.

A family in a traditional society forms the primary economic unit. This economic role has gradually diminished in modern times, and in societies like the United States it has become much smaller, except in certain sectors such as agriculture and in a few upper class families. In China the family as an economic unit still plays a strong role in the countryside. However, the relations between the economic role of the family, its socio-economic mode of production and cultural values remain highly complex.

The different types of families occur in a wide variety of settings, and their specific functions and meanings depend largely on their relationship to other social institutions. Sociologists have a special interest in the function and status of these forms in stratified (especially capitalist) societies.

The term "nuclear family" is commonly used, especially in the United States and Europe, to refer to conjugal families. Sociologists distinguish between conjugal families (relatively independent of the kindred of the parents and of other families in general) and nuclear families (which maintain relatively close ties with their kindred).

The term "extended family" is also common, especially in the United States and Europe. This term has two distinct meanings. First, it serves as a synonym of "consanguinal family". Second, in societies dominated by the conjugal family, it refers to kindred (an egocentric network of relatives that extends beyond the domestic group) who do not belong to the conjugal family.

In contemporary Europe and the United States, people in academic, political and civil sectors have called attention to single-father-headed households, and families headed by same-sex couples, although academics point out that these forms exist in other societies. Also the term blended family or stepfamily describes families with mixed parents: one or both parents remarried, bringing children of the former family into the new family.

Contemporary society generally views family as a haven from the world, supplying absolute fulfillment. The family is considered to encourage "intimacy, love and trust where individuals may escape the competition of dehumanizing forces in modern society." During industrialization, the family as a repository of warmth and tenderness (embodied by the mother) stands in opposition to the competitive and aggressive world of commerce (embodied by the father). The family's task was to protect against the outside world." But the protective image of the family has waned in recent years as the ideals of family fulfillment have taken shape. Today, the family is more compensatory than protective. It supplies what is vitally needed but missing in other social arrangements".

As a potter molds clay to form a beautiful creation, so does the strong bond of family and good values. Family bonds are a link to our beginning and a guide to our future. Early influences are fundamental to our individual development.

We all want to "belong" and feel accepted. A sense of belonging is derived from the strong bond of family. Family is where our roots take hold and from there we grow. We are molded within a unit, which prepares us for what we will experience in the world and how we react to those experiences. Values are taught at an early age and are carried with us throughout our life.

A close family bond is like a safe harbor where we find refuge. From trusting that someone will pick us up when we fall, as a toddler, to someone being there for us as we experience the storms in life - family bonds help to instill trust and hope in the world around us and belief in ourselves. Rituals of bedtime stories, hugs, holidays and daily meals shared together, provide a sense of warmth, structure and safety. These rituals and traditions, not only create memories and leave a family legacy, but create our first path in life - one that is positive.

Our very spirit can either blossom or wither within the family unit. When we don't have the security and influence of strong family bonds early in life, the ground work is laid for an emptiness, that is often sought to be filled, through destructive venues. If one isn't loved as a child, they may later seek love and acceptance in a way that brings them harm. There is a deep yearning to fill that hollowness, residing in the heart and soul, from never knowing what it's like to be loved, accepted and appreciated for "being".

There can be long-term effects from living in a detached or dysfunctional family. The cycle is often repeated through generations. Children often grow up believing this dysfunctional unit is normal and they may gravitate toward people and situations that mimic the dysfunction they were accustomed to. A healthy relationship won't be easily recognized because it's foreign to someone who hasn't lived within a close and loving family. Often drug and alcohol abuse or domestic violence is repeated, whether by a learned behavior or an escape from behavior that was poured upon an innocent child.

A child may have poor self-image, isolating themselves from peers at school or holding anger and pain inside. This not only affects the emotional well-being, but also physical well-being. The poor self-image may be with them throughout life, causing an inability to make positive choices or be close to others. It's hard to succeed in life when the core of your being has never been nurtured. Healthy development begins before we are born by the choice parents make for the path their children will follow.

Strong family bonds help us to thrive in all aspects of life. Lack of these bonds can lead to forever seeking that something which is missing. Don't take the value of family bonds for granted. You can mold a beautiful creation for today and the generations that follow!

Life can be difficult at times and it at those times we may need a support system. The best support you can get is an unconditional bond from your family.

Family is defined as any group of people closely related by blood. It can also be a group of people who are generally not blood relations, but who share common attitudes, interests or goals and, frequently, live together. A bond is defined as something that binds, fastens, confines or holds together. It is also to establish a close emotional relationship to or with another.

Family bonds have to be constantly worked at and renewed, but can grow stronger every day. Once in place you are held together no matter what is thrown at you. You know you are never alone. You work together day by day as a unit which can make life seem easier when times get tough.

A strong family bond can help you grow into a well rounded adult. Knowing there is a unit of support available whenever you need it can give you a confidence that nothing else can.

Family bonds are very important with the uncertainty in the world today. Loss of jobs, tight finances, divorce, serious illnesses and even gang related crime are some of the things that if you faced alone you may not be able to cope with. Standing united in your family unit is like a wall protecting you from a mighty force. It prevents you from being knocked down to the point where you cannot get back up again. There are people there behind you to pick you straight back up again.

To build a family bond it is vital to spend time together doing many different activities. Everyday things to build bonds with children make them feel special. Whether it's putting washing in the dryer or cooking dinner, they love to be involved. Spending time with a partner if you have one will keep a bond tight so that you can work together to strengthen the family unit. Even if you can only manage an hour after the children have gone to bed to just sit together and forget any problems for a while. Then there is the most important part. Spending time as a family. A walk or a bike ride together can be fun and inexpensive. All of these things make sure that as a unit you are as strong as you can be.

Whatever size your family is, whether you are a single parent and one child, or a couple raising twelve children, the family bond is essential. Why is it essential? Because it helps shape our futures and make us who we are. This is important for the next generation and those generations still to come.

Family bonds have taken a beating in recent decades with the majority of marriages ending in divorces and children born to parents who choose to remain single. It seems that the days when families sat together for meals or spent any quality time together are long gone, but this is very untrue.

The nuclear family is almost extinct, replaced with single parent headed households, multigenerational homes and homes when families are blended together. All types of families can have the same strong values of long ago if the family unit chooses to work together and continue to be strong.

How can you find the time to have quality time when every one is so busy to keep the strong bond there, that answer is simply that you must take the time when someone has a need.

Family holds meetings as needed to discuss important events, so that everyone feels as if they are involved and their opinion matters. All the children know that they can discuss whatever is on their mind, they will be heard, and their suggestions if valid will be incorporated into action.

The parents can have the time to discuss issues on a personal level with the children, as needed. They must know that no subject is too hard to discuss. Occasionally you can discuss school or son's job. They can have private discussions and treating them as though their opinions mattered since they were small has helped to strengthen the family bonds you may have with my children.

In a family, a daughter knows she can count on her brothers and me if she needs help with her two children. The boys learn about infants and toddlers on a first hand level and helping their sister, which is strengthening the family bonds between the children.
Family bonds are very important to every family, it is an essential part of the big picture. It is a life long series of events, and this is what is helping them to become strong productive members of society.

The family takes care of its older members. You can find in a family that at the age of 93, their dad may be slowing down. Although he may remain sharp in conversation about things that interest him, his short-term memory can diminish. He may not be as strong as he could be three years ago, when he thought nothing of climbing a ladder while carrying a bucket of reflective roofing material and then spreading it evenly over the surface of the roof-in 114 heat! He is not quite as adventurous as he was two years ago when he and a friend went on a tour of Europe.

In a family, no matter how angry any of the members may get, none should stop talking to each other. The parents have the right to be angry with you on some issue. But your progress does not authorize to back talk or show any disrespect to them as your parents will always talk in your interest. It can make your family as a strong unit. When you grow up, you must learn to make a choice between proving a point and remaining members of the same family. The latter choice will always win out. Family teaches you how to sacrifice for others, how to support the weak and enable them to stand on their feet.

Be Happy - Family Makes You Happy.

Be Happy - Carry On Exercise

If you want to improve your life in every way, the best place to start is with exercise. Our bodies need regular exercise; it's our natural state to be energetic and lively. When we don't include it in our lives, we cannot function properly and we cannot feel as good as we should. Regular vigorous exercise will make us happier and healthier.

Physical exercise is any bodily activity that enhances or maintains physical fitness and overall health or wellness. It is performed for various reasons. These include strengthening muscles and the cardiovascular system, honing athletic skills, weight loss or maintenance and for enjoyment. Frequent and regular physical exercise boosts the immune system, and helps prevent the "diseases of affluence" such as heart disease, cardiovascular disease, Type 2 diabetes and obesity.

It also improves mental health, helps prevent depression, helps to promote or maintain positive self-esteem, and can even augment an individual's sex appeal or body image Childhood obesity is a growing global concern and physical exercise may help decrease the effects of childhood obesity in developed countries.

You have probably read about the long-term benefits of exercise: increased energy, disease risk reduction, longevity, weight management, improved quality of life etc. Most of us are well aware that regular exercise is a vital and critical part of looking, feeling and staying younger and healthier over the course of our lifetime.

How is your exercise attitude?

A lot of us wonder exactly how we can motivate ourselves to exercise, just what is this special thing that is needed to get yourself out of bed or out the door and straight to your workouts? The reason that no one can answer this question is because it is different for all of us. But one thing that is known is that part of what determines whether you get to your exercise session or not is your attitude. How you look at your planned workout has a major influence on the importance and priority of it.

Making exercise enjoyable begins in your mind - If you have a positive attitude and can find ways to make your exercise program enjoyable, you will be much more likely to stick with it. It is easy to find motivation to do something you enjoy rather than making excuses why you shouldn't do it. Exercise will never seem like a chore if you are passionate about it. If you have a bad attitude about this are you willing to change it?

Let exercise help you to meet your other needs - it can help satisfy your desires for social interaction, self discipline, relaxation, self-discovery, or just give you a break from the stresses of the day. Think about your non physical needs that are important in your life, and try to figure out how activity can help you to achieve them. This can make your exercise program a much more powerful experience and keep you going back for more.

Exercise - your strength and fitness - needs to be in the "first things first" category, because everything else in your life rests upon your good health. Time for fitness is always available when you put first things first in your life.

If you have you forgotten how good it is for your sense of well-being or have never stuck with an exercise program long enough to experience it, you will soon have more energy, a better attitude and a gentler disposition. It's easier to be the kind of person you have always wanted to be.

Your strength and fitness are essential to your good health, like eating right, sleeping enough; loving your family and friends and working. Exercise needs to be at the top of your list of priorities and be put first when you understand and accept just how it important it is. It is so much easier when you don't have to force yourself to exercise - you actually want to do it. Over a period of time, little by little - health and fitness can become a passion. Make it under the supervision of some qualified physiotherapist.

Be Happy – Carry On Exercise to make yourself healthier and happier.

Be Happy – Prefer Love over Hatred

God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God give us only one heart? Because he wants us to find the other one. You love someone not because you need that person, you need that person because you love that person. In love, the past is not important, but the present. Experience is more relevant than the pain you went through. The only thing that will make it stronger is forgiveness and not the retorting of sin. God is so good. He knows where a person will be happy, where they can love and be loved, where heaven on earth is.

No matter what words were used or what meaning about love was delivered, love quotes were said and written out of inspiration and to emphasize each person’s purpose for living…and that is to give love. There are times when one must love even to the detriment of one's "state" (so it would seem, anyway). There are times when one must work oneself to the point of exhaustion for the sake of love. And there are times when one must get involved in things that seem less than clean, less than spiritual, in order to help the humanity. One must jump into the mud in order to rescue those who are drowning in it. One must jump into the ocean of ignorance, attachment, strange ideas and views, spiritual falsities, in order to save people from these things.

Out of love God becomes man, and takes on the incredible burden of ego, of illusion, of ignorance, in order to save man from these. In the same way, it is important for man to hold the well-being of all ABOVE "spiritual elevation." The kind of spiritual elevation that seems to be in competition with true love and service and help is not true spiritual elevation. Love is the truest spiritual state of man. It is the closest to God, and the closest to Truth. This is not to say that one should not take the time necessary to be with Him, to rejuvenate in prayer and communion, this is essential -- just as food and friendship and air are essential -- to the human soul.

One must have a balanced and wide view of these things. Sometimes, when one is performing a task for the sake of love and one begins to feel weary, tired, one's mind may even feel less spiritualized and illuminated due to the tiredness that one feels. In that case, there are two ways that people might tend to choose. One person may heroically work on until falling over in need of rest. Another person may stop immediately in order to rejuvenate, reconnect to God, etc. Either of these choices may be appropriate, but most likely something more balanced is appropriate. People should not feel as if their spirituality is so frail that they are not able to persist in a task, or in the great task of world salvation, to the extent that is truly needed. And also, one must maintain one's connection to God, one's spiritual/emotional health. Therefore, it is wise to take a moment, an hour, a day, or even more, to rejuvenate in His arms when necessary.

There are times when it would be wise to work until you fall over, for if you fall He will catch you. And, truth be told, He is with you always. When you see the truth, you will know that He is always with you, even AS you are working yourself to the bone. So, He does not want to take away from the value of being willing to fall over in your efforts to serve, to save, etc.

At the same time, there are times when it is absolutely necessary and/or appropriate to take very regular breaks to be with God. There are times when the super-abundance that this would create is what is absolutely needed (for example, when a person needs a type of healing from you, which would take a super-abundance of energy). And also, there are times when a very HIGH refinement in one's way of thinking is also absolutely needed for the task. People of the absolute HIGHEST enlightenment may be able to maintain such a rarity and illumination of thought in any state, but most of His followers cannot. Therefore, there are times when it is appropriate to take regular breaks with God, long before you are anywhere near the point of falling down.

You must evaluate these things with this question: What does love require? What does this person, this world, this group require? You must feel through things with this question in your hearts, and turn to Him continually for guidance, for the answer to this question, and you will find the right way to go in each specific case.

There is nothing so untrue TO YOU as the lives that you are living. Your hearts are dissatisfied. You are so dissatisfied with the values that you and others around you have. You experience your relationships with others to be dissatisfactory, because human beings everywhere are choosing to follow the values that this world has to offer, rather than loving wholeheartedly, passionately, with generosity and integrity.

It is true that ordinary" in the sense that you understand the word "ordinary." Love is greater than anything that this world has to offer. What this world calls love, for the most part, is not enough to keep any heart feeling alive and happy.

The point of your entire existence is to love. Learn to love, transcend yourselves for the sake of love, for the sake of others. That is the whole reason that you are here, to love. Many people go through their whole lives pursuing other things. When they die they are unfulfilled. No person can be fulfilled until they learn to truly love; to love from the heart, without self-protection, without fear.

Love means that you are aware of others around you, that you care about them from the depths of your heart, with all the emotion and attention that you feel for yourself and your own life. Love means that the spiritual and emotional well-being of others means everything to you, and you will commit your being and your life to enriching the lives of others; to uplifting their spirits; to reminding them of who they are; to helping them let go of false ideas and fears, and to love.

This may seem out of reach, you may be thinking, "That's far ahead of where I am. I'm just a beginner in the spiritual path; I'm not a saint." You may then think that you are invalid. You need to understand that you learn to love by loving. And since there is no other purpose to being here, on this planet, you may as well start now.

It is true that love requires learning to love. It is true, that you will have to go through many cycles of learning what you are doing that is unloving, and adjusting to be more loving. But you see, this is all part of the love itself: to learn; to adjust, to transcend your limitations.

There may be many things that you do now that you call love, but you will come to find out that they are not done out of love, but out of fear, or self-protection, or self-interest. Love requires that when you see that truth, you face it with courage, and adjust. The ego requires that when you see that fact, you collapse, feel terribly ashamed, and fail to make the adjustment; and fail to love, because you are too busy feeling bad about yourself. Or else, ego will require you to deny the errors you make, or become defensive. Either way, love will not be fulfilled.

Love will be fulfilled when you are willing to be honest. Yes, this is one of the first requirements for love: self-honesty. When you are self-honest it is because you hold something, or someone, as being more important than defending your bad habits or negative beliefs. When people are willing to look honestly at themselves it is almost always for love's sake.

So, you must look around you, at your beloved ones -- your friends, your family, whoever is most near to you -- and love them. Learn from them what you are doing that is unloving, either by asking them, or by paying attention to their responses to what you are doing. Learn to love them better. Commit yourselves to this task of loving, truly loving.

And also, look at those whom you do not consider your friends, and love them too, despite everything that causes you to feel distant from them, or angry or unhappy with them. Love them despite these things. See past their negative attributes and bad habits to the soul that they are, and love that soul, and pray for their release from the bad habits that have bothered you and hurt you for so long; for those bad habits have hurt them, too. Your love must prevail upon your hate. Prefer love over hatred.

Love is to see who people are, and who God is -- who God REALLY is, and who people REALLY are -- and to love them. Love is to see what everything really is, and to love everything, as it really is. And also, love is to see what people are going through, and to care, and to respond honestly, without letting self-protective or fearful feelings get in the way.

This is love: to transcend oneself for others. Love is to adjust for others. Love is to see others, and love them. And by means of true love, others feel less and less like others. You come to feel that every man and woman, and God, and the whole earth, is your own -- your own child, brother, sister. And then, further, you come to feel that these ARE you; part of your own body, your own soul. Your desires are not separate from those of God, or from the true heart's desires of others. When this comes to be, you will have found inner peace, and there will no longer be any need for struggle.

Be Happy – Prefer Love over Hatred

Be Happy - You Can Restore Your Mental Peace Anytime

Now, life is full of struggle. In spite of our best efforts, we find there is something which is still there to be cared for. That something needs your immediate attention. You fear that if you do not do, or attend, or take care appropriately, you or your dear one can be hurt. You become restless. You loose your mental peace for sometime. It may continue to such time when you feel that the problem is over or has lessened than earlier. It happens many time and you feel uncomfortable in spite of there being all other comforts available at your disposal. Why? Have you studied why that particular something has come up. Who was responsible for that’s creation? If you created, how did that happen? If someone else did it, how did he dare? If that has been created by some one else against you, why could you not take action timely? There is a need of introspection.

Sometime, you may feel that you are alone and that nobody else is going through what you are. You have worked on yourself, healing, changing and becoming more enlightened to the way the game of life is played. The result is that you don’t feel like playing anymore. No, you aren’t suicidal, but rather you just want to be left alone. You see the world as superficial. You see the people you live self-destructing right before your eyes and you and have tried to help them only to find that your help is not wanted.
You have even wrestled with that until you understand that you cannot force others to accept your enlightenment and your wisdom. You cannot force others to accept your views of life, of peace, of balance, of harmony, of personal reflection, and self-accountability. Eventually, like a hermit, you go off to live your simple perfectly balanced beautiful little life alone. This is not the same as the lost souls who do not know who they are or where they are in life.

This is about those souls who know exactly who they are, where they are in life, and have a good idea of where they are heading and what it will look like when they get there. These people have ambition, direction, drive, and often some form of a spiritual calling, a higher idea, or a humanitarian cause that motivates them to give of themselves to humanity in ways that others cannot understand. These souls hear a small voice whispering to them to go public with their peaceful harmonious ways. But going public is noisy, harsh, rude, prejudiced, and often dangerous for the gentle calm souls. So they hide. They do a lot without publicizing their acts. They restore their mental peace amidst chaos. They can do so at anytime.

Anger and pain controls a lot of people. It’s a sad fact. We all know someone who still allows their childhood wounds to dictate and control their every decision. We all know of people who are afraid to really open up and love someone else for fear of being rejected and hurt again. Anger is a passionate motivator. People who are really ticked off are seldom docile and quiet about it. Crush your anger by diverting your attention to something else. Think why you are angry. Are you always right? Have you ever tried to think after putting yourself in other’s place? Perhaps you may like to give up your anger when you realize the truth.

Now look at love and inner peace. By nature, love is not controlling or dominating. It is a light that shines and warms, but it does not push and shove. Take a crowd of people who are all in a loving openhearted peaceful state, like a congregation after listening to a beautiful uplifting sermon. For just a moment, the crowd sits awash in the sacred silence.

The hidden souls are trying to live their lives like that congregation and the truth is, it is hard to hold onto our warm cosy feelings while being cut off in traffic, screamed at by irate customers, and listening to a critic say that we aren’t very good at whatever gift we are trying to offer the world. It’s so much easier for the musician to play alone in his room and the writer to journals just for himself. These people hide their gentle souls because they want to remain gentle in a world that is harsh and often cruel.

Then that small voice of spirit calls out from the inner sanctuary of our minds telling us we must come forward and share our gifts. The world needs your gift as much as you need to share it.

Terrified, we wrestle with that guiding voice telling it to leave us alone in our hermit’s nest. It is in that struggle to maintain our loving hearts while confronted with other people’s hatred that we find just how sacred the love in our hearts is.

You were taught how to hold an inner light while held safely away from the chaos and ugliness of the real world. You were spiritually healed, taught, and enlightened in your safe sanctuary, but that is just a false world designed for the beginner to learn. Once you have mastered your own heart and mind and have learned how to be a truly beautifully balanced loving soul, then you will be kicked out of the nest and told to go spread that light. Yes, you are different from what appears to be the norm.

You won’t know how many others are out there just like you until you come out of you hiding spot and begin to interact on a deep heartfelt level with all of humanity. You must step into the darkness or nobody will know that you are a shinning light, my dear. Yes, I know you are content to simply light up your safe secret little corner of the world and no longer have an ego attachment that needs for the world to see you as shining and glorious.

You would be perfectly content hiding away in your sanctuary, working, singing, laughing, and loving just the safest people that you have met. However, it’s not for you that you must shine your light into the darkness. It’s for those lost souls who are frightened, broken, and alone. It is so seldom that a Gandhi or a Mother Teresa appears on the scene, that the lost souls do not believe that unconditional love really exists on a day-to-day level. You do not build lighthouses in safe sunny places. You put them on the edge of the shore where the storms are. You are a beacon of light in the storm of humanity. Deal with it, and get to work doing what you were trained to do.

Be Happy - You Can Restore Your Mental Peace Anytime

Be Happy – Make Your Priorities First

Somebody asks us to do him or her a favor and, though there are a gazillion other things we should do first, we find it difficult to turn the other person down because he or she has done us a favor in the past, or is a close friend or a family member. We've all been in this situation. The concept of gratitude prevails and we find ourselves trapped in something we really didn't know why we committed to. We can sometimes be so worried at causing disappointment in other people, often at the expense of our own activities and interests.

Frankly, knowing how to say 'no' requires skill. Others might say that it shouldn't be hard to do. But, let's face it. We live as social beings and acceptance often occupies the number one spot in the list of virtues we want to achieve. Despite this, there are actually ways we can circumvent this difficulty. Here are five more friendly, pain-free and reasonable ways to say 'no'.

1. Say 'no'; then show what the other person has to do to get a 'yes'

For example: An employee is asking you for a raise but you hesitate to do so because lately he's been skipping work and picking arguments with co-workers. Yet, he looks like he really needs it and has been working for your company for three years now. You want to give him a raise, but his recent behavior is a little disappointing. How do you say 'no'?

Tell him that you can't approve a raise right now, but will do so once you see an improvement in his work ethic. You can say, "I understand your need for a salary increase, but in order for me to implement that, we'll have to work on strengthening your work habits. Now, let's see how we can make that happen…"

2. Make it impersonal.

Make it sound like saying 'no' was a matter of circumstance, not of choice. An example of this is: "We've just paid our mortgage and my daughter is going off to college in two weeks. I won't be able to lend you money."

3. Say 'no' in a way that will make the other person say 'no' to himself or herself.

Instead of saying 'no', teach the other person to say 'yes' to what you want. Do this subtly, of course. For instance, your fashion conscious sister wants to get a pink iPod while you want a blue one. You can tell her that while pink is a cute color, it's more difficult to match with her clothes. Once you level with her and link what you want with what interests her, she'll give in and agree with you.

4. Say you want to say 'yes', but…

Like tip number two, make it sound like you had no choice but to turn the other person down. This way, the relationship remains intact and no one gets hurt. Just don't involve other people, like blame your saying 'no' to somebody else, as this could result in conflict and ill feelings.

5. Say it nicely.

You're giving negative news, so you might as well do it nicely. Let the other person down easy to avoid misunderstandings. It's the least you can for the disappointed. People tend to be more accepting of bad news if it's brought in a polite and sympathetic manner.

Be Happy - Make Your Priorities First and Learn to Say No to those jobs which are not relevant to your own priorities.

Be Happy – There should not be any fear of success.

Many times, we meet such people who tell they're afraid of success. Amazing! We all try our best to get success in our efforts. But some of us feel fear also as to what we will do once we are successful in our venture. We think that if we succeed, our lives may change dramatically and perhaps we may not be able to handle it. Yes, it happens with many of us.

It's true even for you too. When you succeed, your life will change, your friends may change, your financial life may change... most likely for the better. But instead of embracing this change, many fear that they may loose something, what they have today.

Six months back, my friend changed his four-wheeler, you can say, he upgraded and bought a car which is much costlier than the previous one. He purchased it and his purchase surprised majority of his friends, neighbors and relatives as well. They had never imagined that he could ever manage to have such a costly vehicle amongst other possessions.

Afterwards, their expectations went up drastically and somewhere he lost their sympathy too in many cases. Demanding higher contributions to the social causes, they started to say, “Sir, this you can manage very easily.” They did not know that the car which he has now, was got financed on monthly installments. He had purchased it as a mark of his success in one of his ventures. After this purchase, he did not endeavor to enjoy his successes afterwards. Rather, he feared about the consequences of his success.

You may be among the millions of people who live with fear, anxiety and panic everyday. You start thinking about succeeding, you feel the fear coming on, then you realize that things have to change, but you don't know how you'll be able to handle that change.

Then you start to feel the anxiety, you wonder what if you fail, what will people think of you if things don't work out... then the panic begins to take over and you're not sure what to do so you don't do anything.

Instead of embracing success and the changes that will come from that success you fear it, and things remain the same... nothing changes even though you want things to get better.

This goes on for years and years... you want the change, you desperately want things to get better, but they don't. Instead they get worse... and the fear, the anxiety and panic begin to magnify... You want a better life but you can't seem to get the negative thoughts and
feelings out of your system... you just can't eliminate the Fear, Anxiety and Panic.

Your mind and subconscious mind are trained to respond in a certain way when you think about success and all the changes that come with it... and that's why you keep giving in to the fear, anxiety and panic... it's a trained response... You may think that there's no hope... that there's no way you can ever succeed or change.

But you can. Yes you can change the way your mind and subconscious mind work... and you can eliminate the fear, anxiety and panic that stop you dead in your tracks. All you have to do is change the mind's patterns and beliefs and your response will change, you'll begin to eliminate the Fear, Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

Power Affirmations for Eliminating Fear And Anxiety helps you kick fear, anxiety and panic attacks out of your life once and for all. Living with fear, anxiety and panic attacks everyday is just not a way to live. There's no homework nothing to study No exercises. You can wash away the fear, anxiety and panic attacks by building up your own confidence that you are going to win due to your own efforts which you had planned to effectuate a definite change in your life. Since you have already decided to make the change, why do you fear of the consequences? If you improve your life standards, your achievements, it is you who did it – none of your neighbors, relatives, friends who are now jealous had contributed anything, nor are they going to contribute anything. Why do you fear? Forget and go forward.

Be Happy – There should not be any fear of success.

Be Happy – Fatigue can be overcome easily

Fatigue is a feeling of tiredness, exhaustion, or lack of energy. You may feel mildly fatigued because of overwork, poor sleep, worry, boredom, or lack of exercise. Any illness, such as a cold or the flu, may cause fatigue, which usually goes away as the illness clears up. Most of the time, mild fatigue occurs with a health problem that will improve with home treatment and does not require a visit to a doctor.

You know! A stressful emotional situation may also cause fatigue. This type of fatigue usually clears up when the stress is relieved. Fatigue is one of the problems of our busy modern lifestyles and many people complain of having low energy levels. This means that although they can get through the day they rarely have energy left over to be able to lead an active lifestyle. But the fact is your energy levels are a good indicator of your current fitness level.

But how can you have a good fitness level if you don't have enough energy to be able to exercise? Well, the whole cycle need to be reversed and slowly strength and fitness recovered and increased over a period of time. It is important to have lots of energy to fit everything we want into our life. When we have this natural energy we find we feel happier, more energetic and more enthusiastic about everything in life. We also become more motivated to want to be active on a regular basis. If we are often tired and feeling sluggish this can lead to apathy and the blues which is not helpful to getting the most out of life.

Energy is not something that is tangible. You cannot get it or find it and is not something that you can see or touch, but you will surely know if you don't have enough of it. But to get more of it you first have to create the conditions under which it is possible to show up in your life.

If your health, strength, fitness, attitude are all aligned in the right way, there is nothing else for you to do but to feel energized. It is the natural "side-effect" of a fit, healthy life - it just comes with the territory.

If it is not happening for you some changes are necessary. By adding a proper exercise program into your life and starting slowly but consistently you can get back to where you should be quite quickly. It is important that you do not waste your precious little energy on ineffective exercise that will not give you much in return.

Low intensity type activity like walking, jogging or cycling needs to he done sparingly as too much can further eat into your energy stores but not give you any 'bang for your buck'. You need a proper program with strength building exercise that will recover lost strength and speed up your metabolism (your body's engine).

This type of exercise program will energize you throughout the day by building back your strength. Your better conditioned muscles will make every task in your day so much easier and save some of the energy drain. Exercise will also increase oxygen flow to the brain making you feel good, more mentally alert and you will have an overall happier disposition.

To support this exercise program it is important to try and eat better. Shoot for 5-6 small meals spread throughout the day. Each meal should have a protein source as its base; add lots of raw or cooked vegetables and a small amount of complex carbohydrates (rice, pasta, grains etc). If you are a busy person, you will need to organize your meals the night before and then take them with you wherever you go the next day.

Although this all sounds easy, it will not just happen overnight. Like all of us it is a journey and we can only aim for improvement not perfection. Each week the goal should be just to do a little better than the week before. These good choices will not only give you your energy back but rejuvenate your whole life. Whenever I felt some fatigue, I took some steps and felt energized again. If you feel so, you may try them.

Firstly, you may get extra rest while you are ill. Let your symptoms be your guide. If you have a cold, you may be able to stick to your usual routine and just get some extra sleep. If you have the flu, you may need to spend a few days in bed. You may return to your usual activities slowly to avoid prolonging the fatigue. Be sure to drink extra fluids to avoid dehydration.

If generalized weakness and fatigue are not related to another illness, you may listen to your body. Alternate rest with exercise. Gradually increasing your exercise may help decrease your fatigue. You should limit medicines that might contribute to fatigue. Tranquilizers and cold and allergy medicines often cause fatigue. You may take action with due consultation with your health care taker.

You may improve your diet. Eating a balanced diet may increase your energy level. Do not skip meals, especially breakfast. You may reduce your use of alcohol or other drugs such as caffeine or nicotine, which may contribute to fatigue. Cut back on watching television. Spend that time with friends, try new activities, or travel to break the fatigue cycle.

For remaining fresh throughout the day, you need to have a good night's sleep. This may be the first step toward controlling fatigue. For sound sleep, you must eliminate all sound and light disturbances. Do not eat just before you go to bed. Use your bed only for sleeping. Do not read or watch TV in bed.

Based upon my personal experience, I feel that if you too go through the above process, you may have some lesser fatigue than before. Slowly, you can overcome this syndrome finally.

Be Happy – Fatigue can be overcome easily.

Be Happy – Make Yourself Stress Free During Your Tough Times

Have you ever remembered your good days and your bad days? I think you still remember all the bad incidents much deeper than your happy moments. You increase the gravity of your sorrows by comparing to your good happenings. I am sure it is true in your life and in my life, in the lives of the majority of us.

Today I find it to be a beautiful day, same as I had read through my text books in my student life.. The sun is shining, the breeze is blowing softly and the temperature is just right — the perfect day. Even with all the challenges I have to face, I still look up at the sky and smile as the clouds chase one another across a "picture-perfect", blue background.

But I know that all the days to come will not be as beautiful and comfortable as this day is. Yesterday was dark and dreary, pierced with giant streaks of lightning, which generated thunder that rattled the windows.

Yes, I know that all the days that follow today will not be as bright as this one, nor as dark as yesterday. Some days will be better than others. Some will be worse. And I do not know which ones will or won't.

But this one thing I know: There will be change. There will be ups and there will be downs. That's how life is — there are good times and not so good times. The good times will not last forever. Every now and then, there will be rough times. But remember, even the worst times won't last either.

The trick is to enjoy the good times and make the most of them; to tolerate the rough times and know that they won't last forever. Generally, it appears that the good times seem to go so fast and the bad times seem to last forever, but this is not really so. It is our experience of time that makes it seem that way. Five minutes in my dentist's chair may feel like an eternity, whereas sixty minutes spent chatting with a friend may seem like just a few seconds.

Whenever we encounter difficult problems, the tendency is to focus so intensely in trying to arrive at a solution that we become all tense and tied up in knots. When that occurs, we tend to become frustrated, fearful and sometimes angry. The problem here is that we're trying to force a solution instead of allowing a solution.

Anger could be expected, but prolonged anger is harmful to body, mind and spirit. You know! Natural anger lasts for only about seventeen seconds. Anything beyond that is a reaction to circumstances or remembered situations.

Fear is one of our deadliest enemies. The fear causes us to stay awake at night conjuring up all the terrible things that could happen because of the unsolved problems we're facing. This kind of fear is dangerous, self-defeating and downright useless. It shakes our very foundations and needlessly drains us of energy.

And to be frustrated is natural. But let us not dwell on the frustration. It's like having a flat tire while driving in a thunderstorm and getting out of the car, becoming soaking wet and kicking the flat tire for being flat. It does no good.

How to Deal With Problems

How then do you deal with your problems?" The first most important thing is to disconnect from the problem. By this, I don't mean that you pretend that the problem doesn't exist. It does exist, so get all the facts you can and then let it be. Break focus with it. This way, your subconscious mind will work towards a solution.

When we force our minds to be totally focused on the problem, when we do not let it go, even for a short while, we deny the subconscious mechanism the power it has to help resolve the crisis. We must let it go. We must take a break from thinking about the problem.

Do whatever you can to break focus. Since all things have energy, even our problems are energy "things". If we focus on the problem too long, we energize it and make it stronger. By letting go and switching our focus, we shift our energy away from the problem and are now "energizing" the solution.

Does it matter how big the problem is? Not really. The Higher Self knows the answer to every problem we could ever encounter. The size of the problem is not important. What is important is how we look at the problem. Withdraw your attention from it for a short while a number of times a day.

During those times, don't look at the facts. You've already done that. Just look away from the facts to something pleasant, maybe listen to some good music, watch a great movie, go for a walk, talk to a good friend, read a good book. Just break focus with the problem for a short while.

If you do this, you will notice that the problem will appear to be less and less formidable. And somehow, in some way, you will get the guidance to do what's necessary to overcome the challenge. It may be that your car is being repossessed, the house is being foreclosed, a close friend or relative or even you yourself may be battling poor health. Doesn't matter what the problem is, break focus, allow calm, quiet and hope to flow through your mind.

As you practice doing this, almost magically, things will start to change; you will feel better, more hopeful, more empowered. And you will think more clearly. You will hear the "still small" voice within giving you the guidance you need.

Don't take my word for it. Just try it and see for yourself. You have nothing to lose except your problems. And you have everything to gain.

Use various sources of inspiration to keep on going when it seems that the road has been too long and dark. Remember, Morning has been all night coming, but see how surely it comes.

But Make Yourself Stress Free During Your Tough Times and Be Happy.

Be Happy – Win Your Battle with Confidence (Part 2)

Each and every thing in our life gets its own importance. Sometime, something seems to be of less importance but later on, that becomes a major issue taking our time forcibly. That is why we need to give due importance to each matter at appropriate time. If we ignore something unduly or handle it without care, that can cause us a good cost. We need to take action carefully and with confidence. In this direction, the first step to be taken was narrated yesterday. Next steps can be taken as below:

Step 2: Setting Out

This is where you start, ever so slowly, moving towards your goal. By doing the right things, and starting with small, easy wins, you’ll put yourself on the path to success – and start building the self-confidence that comes with this.

Build the knowledge you need to succeed:

Looking at your goals, identify the skills you’ll need to achieve them. And then look at how you can acquire these skills confidently and well. Don’t just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough solution – look for a solution, a program or a course that fully equips you to achieve what you want to achieve and, ideally, gives you a certificate or qualification you can be proud of.

Focus on the basics:

When you’re starting, don’t try to do anything clever or elaborate. And don’t reach for perfection – just enjoy doing simple things successfully and well.

Set small goals, and achieve them:

Starting with the very small goals you identified in step 1, get in the habit of setting them, achieving them, and celebrating that achievement. Don’t make goals particularly challenging at this stage, just get into the habit of achieving them and celebrating them. And, little by little, start piling up the successes!

Keep managing your mind:

Stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images strong. And on the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when you’re trying something new. In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can (almost) start to see them in a positive light. After all, there’s a lot to be said for the saying “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!”

Step 3: Accelerating Towards Success

By this stage, you’ll feel your self-confidence building. You’ll have completed some of the courses you started in step 2, and you’ll have plenty of success to celebrate!

This is the time to start stretching yourself. Make the goals a bit bigger, and the challenges a bit tougher. Increase the size of your commitment. And extend the skills you’ve proven into new, but closely related arenas.

As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, but not too much, you'll find your self-confidence building apace. What's more, you'll have earned your self-confidence – because you’ll have put in the hard graft necessary to be successful!

Overcome A Major Fear...

A major source of stress in your life is the "fear of rejection" or "fear of criticism." This fear of rejection manifests itself in an over-concern for the approval or disapproval of your boss or other people.

The fear of rejection is often learned in early childhood as the result of a parent giving the child what psychologists call "conditional love."


Rise Above the Need For Approval...

Many parents made the mistake of giving love and approval to their children only when their children did something that they wanted them to do.

A child who has grown up with this kind of conditional love tends to seek for unconditional approval from others all his or her life.

When the child becomes an adult, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and onto the boss. The adult employee can then become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss. This preoccupation can lead to an obsession to perform to some undetermined high standard.


Don't Burn Yourself Out...

People usually put so much pressure on themselves to perform in order to please their bosses that they burn themselves out. They often die of heart attacks before the age of 55. This conditional love in childhood is a very serious stress-related phenomenon in the American workplace.

Action Exercises:

Here are two things you can do immediately to deal with the fear of rejection, criticism and disapproval. First, realize and accept that the opinions of others are not important enough for you to feel stressed, unhappy or over concerned about them.

Even if they dislike you entirely, it has nothing to do with your own personal worth and value as a person. Second, refuse to be over concerned about what you think people are thinking about you. The fact is that most people are not thinking about you at all. Relax and get on with your life. You will succeed.

Be Happy – Win Your Battle With Confidence.

Be Happy – Win Your Battle with Confidence (Part 1)

From the quietly confident doctor whose advice we rely on, to the charismatic confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident people have qualities that everyone admires.

Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself. Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic. On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.

Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem. We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.

This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we're competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.

Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking. At Mind Tools, we believe that there's some truth in this, but that it's just as important to build self-confidence by setting and achieving goals – thereby building competence. Without this underlying competence, you don't have self-confidence: you have shallow over-confidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that this brings.

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.

Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well-worth the effort! The bad news is that there’s no quick fix, or 5-minute solution. You may have to work consistently in this direction.

How confident do you seem to others?

Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on. If you are self confident, you would be doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it, you would be willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things and admitting your mistakes, and learning from them. You might be waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments and accepting compliments graciously. “Thanks, I really worked hard on that prospectus. I’m pleased you recognize my efforts.”

If your level of self confidence is satisfactory, you may be governing your behavior based on what other people think and staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure and so avoid taking risks. You can be working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone notices. You may extol your own virtues as often as possible to as many people as possible. You may even dismiss compliments offhandedly. “Oh that prospectus was nothing really, anyone could have done it.”

As you can see from these examples, the absence of self-confidence can be self-destructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity. Self-confident people are generally more positive – they believe in themselves and their abilities, and they also believe in living life to the full.

Building Self-Confidence

So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality? Building self-confidence is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are three steps to self-confidence, for which you may use the metaphor of a journey: preparing for your journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success.

Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey

The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.
In preparing for your journey, you may do these five things:

Look at what you've already achieved:

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you've achieved in an "Achievement Log." Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone else’s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your business.

Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often. And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had!

Think about your strengths:

Here, you may look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face. Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!

Think about what's important to you, and where you want to go:

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life. Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real self-confidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets.

Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face. And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. Make sure it’s a very small step.

Start managing your mind:

At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talks which can destroy your confidence. It is commonly observed at large, among many of us in our communities, that we quarrel and squabble over petty or non apparent reasons. We are good in attending weddings and festivals, but we show hostile attitudes to each other in community affairs. We do not listen to each other with the intention to understand for a better perspective. We make haste conclusion and poor judgment of each other without having adequate knowledge and information. We choose to argue, fight and scold each other instead of having a peaceful dialogue on issues of common concerns. Political arguments and spiritual debates have become the battlefields for character assassination. Consequently, we end up in a serious and hostile conflicts and that is what is currently happening in our communities and social welfare institutions. The major sources of these problems are poor judgment, lack of tolerance, ill behavior, and lack of respect among us. We must adopt rational thinking.

And then commit yourself to success!

The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it. If as you’re doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, that’s great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately.

We may discuss the next step in our next post. In the meanwhile, start your efforts to build up your self confidence, for your success and for your happiness.

Be Happy - Win Your Battle with Confidence.

Be Happy – Differentiate between Attitude and Aptitude

Generally, we do not differentiate between Attitude and Aptitude. But there is a difference. An attitude is a hypothetical construct that represents an individual's degree of like or dislike for an item. They are generally positive or negative views of a person, place, thing, or event-- this is often referred to as the attitude object. People can also be conflicted or ambivalent towards an object, meaning that they simultaneously possess both positive and negative attitudes toward the item in question.

An aptitude is an innate, acquired or learned or developed component of a competency (the others being knowledge, understanding and attitude) to do a certain kind of work at a certain level. Aptitudes may be physical or mental. The innate nature of aptitude is in contrast to achievement, which represents knowledge or ability that is gained.

The altitude of your attitude determines your aptitude. Attitude is your behavior whereas Aptitude is your liking / inclination / talent. Attitude is your outlook, your mood. Aptitude is your ability to learn - a propensity for learning. Your attitude has much more bearing than your aptitude on your potential altitude. (You can reach great heights because you have a can-do spirit, even if the academic knowledge doesn't come easily to you.)

Attitude is what a person develops from his environment and Aptitude is something that a person has an innate capacity to do. It’s to have flair about a particular field since birth. Some people can naturally act, paint they don’t have to learn it. It’s like a natural thing for them. While attitude is something situations in life teaches oneself. It may be for good or for bad.

Thomas Jefferson says, "Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude." Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down. Actually, any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure.


If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people for better performance. To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world. For success, attitude is equally as important as ability.

Aptitude found in the understanding and is often inherited. One professional says, “Archery is something that I took up later and didn't know I had a natural aptitude for.” Faith is an aptitude of the spirit. It is, in fact, a talent: you must be born with it. In aptitude tests, I scored highest in maths. But personally, I don’t wish it to be my means of earning.

The winner's edge is not in a gifted birth, a high IQ, or in talent. The winner's edge is all in the attitude, not aptitude. Attitude is the criterion for success. Today's students can put dope in their veins or hope in their brains. If they can conceive it and believe it, they can achieve it. They must know it is not their aptitude but their attitude that will determine their altitude. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.

Be Happy – Differentiate between Attitude and Aptitude