Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Be Happy – Extend Solace To The Needy

Madame de Maintenon, who was the wife of Louis XIV of France, 1635-1719 rightly quotes, “The true way to soften one's troubles is to solace those of others”.

Solace what we understand is something that gives comfort, consolation, or relief. It is comfort in sorrow, misfortune, or trouble; alleviation of distress or discomfort.

We understand that every one of us has not born with a silver spoon in the mouth. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes it gets too much difficult for some. Some time you feel as though your life is spinning out of control? You may be getting depression. It is a serious and life-threatening illness which can strike us at any stage in our lives.

Mostly, depression is caused by emotional issues. Very few families are untouched by depression. This disabling illness can be brought on by loss or stress and is much more severe than feeling upset and down. It is a severe condition that leaves a person feeling alone and miserable and unable to control their emotions and carry out daily activities. You can provide solace by visiting the affected person more frequently.

Depression is treatable and people should be persuaded to go to counseling and talk about how they feel. After a crisis people often can't recognize the signs of depression and anxiety or they ignore them. Finding solace is about reaching a state that even though something terrible has happened to you don't feel pain and you are able to find solace or comfort in certain activities and how you are living. It means alleviating the pain associated to a tragic or depressing event in your life so you and the people around you can continue to enjoy life.

While we can't always control what happens to us or around us, we are in control of the way we react to it. Adversity can be overwhelming but it is always an opportunity to re-discover your passions and what really matters to you. Finding solace when times get daunting is extremely important in order for you to continue to live a healthy life.

When does a person deserve solace?

• Moodiness and frustration that is out of character
• Difficultly in dealing with personal criticisms
• Spending less time with friends
• No interest in going out to have fun

• Loss of interest in pleasurable activities
• Loss of passion, dreams and goals
• Difficultly sleeping through the night
• Increased fatigue and physical pains

• Drinking or drug problems

• Being reckless and careless, like driving dangerously

If you recognize the symptoms of depression in yourself or someone you know it is very important to request help. The first step is to find a doctor or health professional who you or they can talk to!


Think of therapy and counseling and you get the idea it's about taking and crying till you are too exhausted to cry anymore. Yes you're right, but sometimes it is necessary to do it, to lose control and outwardly express your emotions. Seeing a counselor means you will be asked to talk about your problems, what you are feeling and admitting your guilt and anger.

Some people don't want to cry and feel too ashamed to talk. As a result they become less likely to go and seek help. Then, the person becomes less likely to venture away from home because they know they have no control over their emotions and they don't want to upset others by losing it in front of them. This is extremely common behavior for bereaved individuals. They often come to believe that others do not want to be around them because they don't want to deal with their grief and pain. This can go on for years and then the person ends up feeling very alone. Such isolative behavior over time unfortunately results in a loss of social support. Because it is too difficult to heal in the company of oneself a grieving individual may benefit greatly from counseling or from grief therapy groups.

During any type of counseling session displays of emotion are encouraged because it is a very healthy part of the healing process. And having a time designated for it means that a person is better able to keep hold of their emotion around friends. It is very important that a person does not isolate themselves for fear of expressing pain. A social network is vital for healing to take place and for a person to find comfort and solace in times of sadness and distress.

Research supports the idea that individuals suffering from depression, grief or a disorder can find solace through counseling. Counseling helps individuals to cope in times of adversity and can assist individuals to adopt healthier behaviors.

Counseling is very beneficial for people trying to deal with rape, spouse abuse, suicide and running away. The counselor’s purpose is to help you deal your crisis. Families living with suicide often have difficulty in believing what has happened. Grief and anger are painful and exhausting and with intense pain may come the need to express that. Suffers can find solace with the help of support groups.

Individual Counseling

You may need counseling if your problems come from your thinking patterns and your behaviors. Problems such as grieving, anxiety disorders, depression and phobias can be hard to discuss which is why this private one on one style of counseling is good for finding solace.

Family Counseling

Family Counseling helps to resolve family members' issues by discussing the situation together. It helps the whole to family to adopt new ways of thinking and behaving to help a member get well. If an adolescent has a problem with alcohol or substances then this type of counseling can help each member of the family to adopt new ways of communicating better with them.

Group Counseling

Group Counseling is exactly as the name suggest, people group together to discuss their problems under the guidance of a counselor. Members of the group may share the same problem but this is not always the case. People may find solace in this type of counseling knowing that there are other people who understand their pain and gain strength knowing they are not the only one with struggles.

Self-help and support groups

Alcoholics Anonymous and Overeaters Anonymous are groups of people who meet regularly to discuss their problems and to support and help other people with the same dependency as them.

Apart from the above, there are many methods to provide solace to the sufferers. You can choose any best one amongst them. But we must consider it as our pious duty to provide solace to anyone we know that he/she requires to realign his/her life. Silvia Hartmann composes the poem “Solace” very beautifully to convey what it means. With due respect to the composer, I may put up the lines herebelow:

by Silvia Hartmann

Solace did I seek within your arms,
and haven calm you were
when all around us raged the night
and seas as high as mountains
threatened with their roar.

Enfoldment of silence
and a stillness born of ages
did I feel from you,
so patient your acceptance
of my tears and of my youth,
you questioned not,
just stroked my hair,
your breath the tides,
the hush of nightwind
caught in stately elms
oh how you soothed me,
healed me of the days -

In your remembrance,
a gust of rain
the window holds at bay.

If you find that you need Solace to help overcome depression or know someone, a friend or family member who you suspect is suffering from depression then help them get well. You can seek some professional help or take the depressed one in a friendly environment at a retreat. It will be your true service. God will be happy with you!

Be Happy – Extend Solace To A Needy One.

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