Monday, January 31, 2011

Be Happy – Your Perfect Body Language Can Influence Other’s Decisions.

Communication will never be effective without body language. Words only make out 7% of the communication process and speech particulars (voice, intonation, pacing) make out 38%. The rest of the 55% comes from the body gestures, movements, and facial expressions.

The first signs of attraction that a person usually sends to another comes from the body, not the mouth. Actions do indeed speak louder than words. Body language is significant in attraction because most of us are hesitant in telling our inner feelings. So why not let our bodies speak for us?

Common Signs Of Attraction

One can show his or her attraction to another person through eye contact. A brief eye contact may not mean anything, but if it would last longer than it should, it may be a definitive sign of attraction. Note if he would look back as well. Even though your eye met for a few seconds but if he would not look back again, it means he may not be attracted to you.

Simple gestures of smiling and closing the distance between both of you are strong signals of attraction as well. That person would tend too lean forward or the direction of his or her body would be towards you. Touching from time to time is also a way of showing this feeling; sometimes he or she would accidentally brush against you just to have that physical contact.

The Most Attractive Body Language

A confident body language could always attract anybody from any gender. It is rare for somebody who prefers a person with a poor posture and mishandled gestures; these signify low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.

Show confidence by giving a firm handshake, maintaining a good posture and proper use of gestures. These reflect a high self-image. Develop this practice of body language, and you will be successful in meeting new people.

Difference of Men And Women

Men and women definitely have different ways of showing each other how they feel. Women usually show more obvious signs. They would try to make themselves look more attractive by adjusting their clothes, smoothening the skirt, and the like. They would twirl or play with their hair, cross and uncross their legs, and rock their leg back and forth with the sandal hanging on the toes. These are playful gestures but they are effective signals of attraction.

On the other hand, men would show their prowess by showing off their masculinity through their “macho” posture. This posture is done by standing taller and squaring the shoulders back. Some men would hook their thumbs into their belt to emphasize their masculinity more. Unconscious gestures done by men when interacting with the person they are attracted to include touching the tie and raising the eyebrows.

It Could Be A Waste Of Time

After giving hints that you are into this person, how would you know if he or she is not attracted to you? A person, consciously or unconsciously, could give signs saying, “No. I really am not interested.” If a person can't tell you directly through words, then look for signs from his or her body language.

Lack of eye contact, forced or fake smiles, frequent sighing, looking around except at you, and the like – if you are given these signals of annoyance or lack of interest, then consider it as a waste of time.

Know How To Speak Through Body Language

Body language is a form of nonverbal communication wherein one can send or receive messages through body movements, gestures, facial expression, and the like. There are general acts of body language that almost everyone does in his or her daily life. However, do you know how to speak this language? Can you understand other people by just reading their body language? The importance of knowing how to speak through body language is that you can have the ability to control any situation with anybody in any place and time.

Personal Space

Everyone of us has his own personal space. It is somewhat like a comfort zone. It is an invisible region that surrounds you, and if someone tries to invade it, you will feel uncomfortable or threatened. But one's personal space is dependent on certain situations. A person who grew up in the city with crowded streets has a smaller personal space compared to one who lives in the rural area. Learning how to respect one's personal space is one method to make communication through body language more effective between two or more people. There are body movements and gestures better appreciated and understood when there is an appropriate distance.

Communication In Body Language

Communication is the method of exchanging messages between two or more people. But words are not the only effective means of talking to another person. The use of body language is a type of nonverbal communication wherein one would use his body to express. This includes the gestures, posture, facial expression, and eye contact. The fact is that all of us are unaware most of the time that we are already sending signals and conveying messages.

Let Your Eyes Speak

The eyes are truly the windows of the soul. It can speak louder than any body movements, even words. The power that the eyes have is that they are truly expressive; no matter what we say, the eyes will prove one's sincerity or honesty.

The eye contact is a very strong reinforcement of your current situation. When the other person is talking and you are maintaining eye contact, it signifies that you are listening to her and you are interested in the conversation. When you are the one talking, eye contact indicates that you are being honest and sincere about what you are saying.

Your eyes can also show that you are undergoing boredom, anxiety, distraction, and lack of interest. Boredom and lack of interest is reflected when the eyes are dull or would break the eye contact and wander around the room. Distraction is also indicated by the sudden break of eye contact and the eyes will be directed to the source of distraction. Meanwhile, anxiety or tension is evident when there is an increase in one's blinking rate.

How You Can Impress Or Convince

It is simple to give a good impression by using body language. A good posture when sitting or standing is essential. Always remember not to slouch. Some people usually regard it as laziness or boredom. When sitting down, do not sit at the edge of the chair. This would make your back look stiffer thus making you look nervous. As much as possible, do not cross you legs as well. If you do so, make sure the direction of your body is towards the other person. When standing, avoid putting your hands in your pocket or crossing your arms over the chest.

You can also impress by giving a firm handshake with eye contact and a slight smile. This action will reflect that you are confident and comfortable. Hand gestures while talking is also a positive body language; it signifies that you know what you are talking about. But avoid too much hand gestures since it might distract the other person from focusing on what you are saying.

Give Signals Of Interest And Attraction

As stated above, long eye contact is one of the strongest signal of interest. Breaking eye contact and then going back again is a sign of interest being exchanged by two people who do not know each other yet. It is an act of eye body language used in flirting.

Other signs that you may use to show your interest includes leaning or directing the body towards the other person and nodding the head, which means “I agree” or “Go on, continue”.

Communicate In A Foreign Body Language

When you are visiting a foreign country or communicating with a foreigner, it is essential that you have a background on their culture and acceptable body language. Prolonged eye contact may be a sign of interest generally, but some Asian countries find it as intimidating and rude. Thus, learn how to communicate through body language appropriately to gain respect and good impression from other people.

Don’t use flirting body language.

The flirting body language is complicated to understand and oftentimes misinterpreted. Men gives signs of flirtation in different ways compared to women. So how can you tell if someone is already flirting with you? Does she like me? Is he interested in me? This article discusses facts and tips on determining flirting signals.

Men's Flirting Signals

There are five standard body signals that a man is flirting:

1. Eye Contact

A man would give you is catching your eye. But if he passes on to another person and doesn't look back at you, it means that he is not interested. However, if he glimpses at you, looks away, and then back at you again, it is a very clear indication that he is attracted to you. Sometimes, eye contact would not mean anything. But if it lasts longer, it means something indeed is running in his mind and you are involved.

2. Raising the Eyebrows

It is not a very strong indication and is most of the time done unconsciously. It often means that he finds you interesting or sexy.

3. Giving the Masculine Impression,

Men would square his shoulders and try to stand tall and straight. When sitting, his feet and legs will be apart. A man would also tend to hook his thumbs over his belt. These actions would show and emphasize his masculinity, with hopes that he would acquire that admiration from you.

4. Touching Self

The Man may show touching himself imagining as he is closer to you and the part he is touching is not his but that represents you. As soon as he gets some opportunity, he may touch you virtually.

5. Leaning Towards You.

A man attracted to you would try to get closer to you or lean his body towards you. This act can be done intentionally or unconsciously.

Women's Flirting Signals

Research shows that woman gives body language messages five to six times more than men. She can give many signs that she is flirting with you and they are easy to spot. The most common action is preening. A woman would tend to play, stroke or comb her hair and sometimes toss it over her shoulder. A strong flirting preening action is when a woman would involve her lips. Licking the lips, eating slowly, drinking with poise while having eye contact, and putting on lipstick can easily seduce a man.

Slowly crossing or stroking the legs is also a clear intentional flirting action by women. She would also tend too adjust her clothes to expose more skin. Playing with an object, like a glass, is a sign that she likes you. But make sure she is looking at you while doing it, otherwise it would mean that she is not interested.

“Yes, I like You”

The general signs saying that he or she is indeed interested with you include smiling, longer eye contact, preening, licking the lips, raising the eyebrows, playing with the hair, looking away and then back again, leaning towards you, head slightly tilted, mirroring your actions, good posture, frequent nodding, laughing, and many more. If you spot these signs, then it would be a great time to move a step further.

“No, I'm Really Not Interested”

How would you know if that quick glance did not mean anything and a connection is not happening? Watch out for these body language signals: looking away and not looking back, looking at other people, slouching, sighing loudly, passive expression, playing an object with her fingers without looking at you while you talk, dull eyes, crossing the arms, and the like.

Body language is truly a strong reinforcement of messages especially during flirting, seduction, and dating. Each one may have different ways to express their desires, but most of these actions have general meanings that are easy to decipher and learn

Be Happy – Your Perfect Body Language Can Influence Other’s Decisions.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Be Happy – You Can Understand the Wrongs Through Body Acts.

A person may cover up lies through confident facial expressions and voice pitch and volume, however their body can reveal dishonesty. Fidgeting, shakiness, trembling of the hands, body stiffness, shuffling of the feet, and jitters are typical indicators of lying, but they are not that definitive or reliable. Gestures showing the palm indicate sincerity. But in lying, the palms are rarely seen and are usually inside their pockets. As a defensive posture and protection, one would tend to cross his arms across his chest. Liars are also prone to sweating, increasing heart rate, breathing deeper, and being pale.

How To Spot Lies In Body Language

There are several more indicators of lying. However, they are less reliable in detection of dishonesty. Among them are forced smiles, slight tightening of the forehead between the eyebrows, lip biting, hand shrugs, movement of the Adam's apple, delay of answers or response, flaring of nostrils, tighter lips, elbows pulled to the sides, tilting head movements, inability to concentrate on other things, and other unnatural gestures.

This is the art of understanding body language. Even though sometimes unreliable, several different gestures can tell you how sincere and honest a person is to you. Simply look for the typical signs of lying and detect dishonesty instantly.

It is possible that you can detect lies even by merely looking at the body language. There are many signs delivered by the body, head to toe, wherein you could determine the person is lying. Catch your husband cheating, your friend hiding a secret from you, or a person being dishonest by knowing the signals of lying and dishonesty.

The Typical Signs of Lying

The signs that obviously show that a person is lying are sings of nervousness, tension, and anxiousness. You could observe these emotions by the way his eyes are moving, how he moves around, and how he reacts to your verbal attacks.

Eyes: The Clearest Indicator

The eyes are very strong indicators of every emotion, including dishonesty. When the person cannot look straight at you or he is unable to prolong the eye contact, there is a big possibility that he is lying. Notice also the rate of his blinking. Do not literally count how many times he blinks, you can easily spot it. Frequent movements of the eyes, like looking at other objects other that you, and pupil dilatation are also indicators of lying.

Observe the Hands

Some people have practiced prolonging eye contact when lying, so the next best sign you should be observing are the hand gestures. A person lying would usually have trembling hands during anxious moments. He also would tend to show excessive use of hand gestures while talking. When defensive from a verbal attack or when hiding something, the person would usually put his hands into his pockets or cross his arms over his chest. He will also tend to fidget with something with his hands or tap them.

Note How He Speaks

Observing a person's way of delivering his speech is somewhat tricky. You may have to know first how he normally speaks before judging his sincerity or honesty. But if you already know the speech habits of the person, then it would be less difficult to detect lying. The volume of the voice would be softer than usual, but during a defensive state of mind, he would usually raise his voice. Then there would be some speech errors, such as mispronunciation, stuttering, or stammering. The pacing of the way he talks would also be faster.

Other Signs Of Lying

Another sign of lying is when the person would tend to touch himself when he delivers his lies. Self touching gestures include rubbing the nose, scratching the forehead, and touching the nape, elbow, or other parts of the body. Self touching is a strong indication of discomfort and guilt.

Observe also the rest of the body. Note if the person is trembling, fidgeting, or shaking. But these actions are usually found during extreme nervousness. A stiff posture with the elbows pulled to the sides and tightened muscles is a posture which reflects lying as well.

The meanings and interpretations of the different acts and signals of body posture are not always true and definitive. This is one of the risks in reading other people's body language. You may be too quick to judge their honesty and even their whole personality. Thus, be careful in interpreting other's gestures and body movements.

The last thing you would want to happen is a conflict due to miscommunication and misinterpretation.

Expressions Through Body Language

Most of the time, words are not enough to express how someone really feels. And sometimes, what we say are not really what we intend to convey. This is where nonverbal communication gains its importance in the interaction of two or more people.

Body language, a form of nonverbal communication, is the conscious and unconscious use of gestures and body movements to send messages, moods, feelings, and state of mind. You can easily identify one's emotions if you know how to read and interpret his or her actions.


This emotion is probably the easiest to identify from one person. Aside from the increasing of the voice volume, facial movements could identify anger or fury. It could be identified by one hard, intense look on the source of his anger or when the eyebrows would meet at the center slightly above the bridge of the nose. Other facial body language involved in this emotion include nasal flaring, teeth baring, snarling, flushing of the face, shallow breathing, and tightening of the lips and jaw.

A person with a clenched fist, perspiration, his hands on the waist, or arms crossed across the chest are signs of anger as well.

Nervousness, Tension, And Anxiety

The most common signs of these emotions are dry mouth, pale face, trembling of the lips and fingers, and perspiration. A nervous or anxious person would tend to move a lot to remove the tension off his body, thus he would fidget, rock or tap his feet, drum his fingers on a surface, or pace around the room back and forth. Lack of eye contact or the inability to hold prolonged eye contact is also an indication of these emotions.

Fear and Defensive State

Trembling, perspiration, and a pale face could also be seen in fear. The skin will be cold and clammy, the voice will tremble, muscle tension, and the body will have a defensive posture when threatened. A defensive posture includes the raising of the hands, crossing of arms or regressing to the fetal position. The person will also try to make a distance from the source of his fear or danger.

Flirting And Attraction

Flirting body language is quite complicated since women and men have different ways of showing it. But the signs that the two genders have in common in showing attraction include prolonged eye contact, smiling, raising of eyebrows, preening, adjusting or touching of clothes, looking at the lips of the other person, leaning towards the person, and closing the distance.

Interest And Focus Of Attention

Eye contact is the most indicative sign of interest and attention. Leaning forward to the person and nodding are reinforcements that you are indeed listening to him or her. When the eye would wander to another object, it means that the person may be bored or his attention was distracted.


Confidence is evident in a firm handshake, good posture, calm muscles, and comfortable use of hand gestures when conversing. When sitting down, a relaxed position is indicative of confidence as well. Sitting on the edge of the chair with tense back muscle would mean otherwise – tension or nervousness.

Body language has a way of telling us how a person really feels, but the meanings and indications are not reliable and true at all times. Basically, the gestures stated above are the general body movements commonly used by most people in the same situations and emotions.

Be Happy – You Can Understand the Wrongs Through Body Acts.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Be Happy – Use Body Language Prudently.

There is an appropriate timing and place for every act of body language. Most of the time, we are oblivious to the messages we convey through our body gestures and movements. We could give negative signals that might offend other people without intending to do so. There are gestures that we indeed have to avoid, but it may require discipline and practice for the very reason that we may have been used to performing this negative acts in our daily lives.

It is very important for one to be observant of his body language, and those of other people as well. You can read other people by learning how to understand how they act and move. But you must also be aware that there are people who know how to interpret body language, and somebody may already be reading you now. Thus, be cautious of actions by knowing when to use them and what to avoid.

At Work

It is always relevant to be in your best self at work. By doing so, you can impress your boss and please clients. Simply be confident when facing somebody. If you are relaxed, other people would not regard you as overconfident. Show them you truly know what you are talking about by maintaining good posture, eye contact and using appropriate hand gestures.

During A Date

How can you give signs that you are indeed attracted to another person without telling them verbally how you really feel? The solution is simple. Talk with your eyes and match it with a bright smile. These two are enough to let somebody know you are indeed enjoying his or her company.

You would know that the date is going well when signals of flirtation are present. A woman would tend to touch her hair, lick her lips, eat or drink slowly, and preen. Meanwhile, a man would usually wink, close the distance between them, lean forward, and stand tall. Bottom line is both sexes want to impress their partner by showing the masculinity or sexiness through actions. And these signs are indeed just the beginning of a higher level in the relationship.

Acts You Must Practice To Avoid

There are many kinds of gestures that you must practice to avoid. At work, try to hide your anxiety or tension by avoiding fidgeting, trembling, or shaking. Avoid excessive hand movements when talking, since this could distract others from focusing on your statements. Avoid also excessive blinking; this shows you are are uneasy and nervous. Stop looking at your watch or the clock. This is very rude since you are giving an impression that you want to end the interaction right away. Do not stroke you chin, lean on an elbow, and fake a smile.

When on a date, it would be much more polite if you directly say “no” rather than showing signals of rudeness to the person if you are uninterested or getting bored. Do not sigh, look at other people other than your partner, slouch, and prop your head on your hands.

Observe Cultural Differences

The appropriate use of body language also depend on where you are and who you are interacting with. You may be talking to somebody with a very conservative culture and regards some gestures rude and disrespectful, even if they are normally used in your place.

Detecting Lies In Body Language

All of us have experienced lying, and many of us may even think they are already good at it. But how would you know if your partner, friend, sibling, lover, co-staff, acquaintance, or even a stranger is lying to you? What are the different clues to detect lying? The solution is simple: read and interpret his or her body language.

Signs To Look For

The most common signs of lying that you should look for are signs of nervousness, stress, anxiety, tension, defense, and discomfort. These will be evidenced by different gestures, facial expressions, actions, or mannerisms. And among them are self-touching, speech errors, speech hesitations, different eye movements, discrepancies in the body and posture, and many more.

Touching Self

Self touches are also known as adaptors. Liars would tend to touch or rub their nose, scratch their forehead, play with the hair, wring or twist their fingers, cover the mouth, and the like. The urge of frequent self touching indicates extreme nervousness and increasing tension. However, there are some people that have already trained themselves to avoid using these adaptors. Thus, detecting other clues is relevant.

Speech Errors And Hesitations

People who lie, especially those caught in the act, stumble over their speech, stutter, or even mispronounce. Voice pitch will somehow ascend and pacing is faster. However, clues in the speech is tricky. A person may already have speech defects at birth or it may be normal for that person to speak in a fast pace. These are only helpful if you are already familiar with how the person speaks.

Eye Movements

The eyes are the loudest channel of honesty and lies. Eye movements that may indicate lying include lateral movement, squinting, frequent blinking, and looking away. Pupil dilation also occurs during a state of tension, but this is not easy to observe. For ages, it was believed that the inability to hold one's gaze for a long time indicates lying. However, many people are already aware of this and practice over time how to lie even with eye contact.

Be Happy – Use Body Language Prudently.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Be Happy – Be Careful about Your Body Language At Work Place.

You can always use body language as a key to success in your work. You could give a good impression, convince clients, and please your boss. In communication, only 7% are the words and rest of the 93% is accounted for the non-verbal cues, which includes the aspects of speech and body language. For an effective presentation, you may consider to follow the suggestions given below:

1. Appropriate Body Language During An Interview, Meeting Or Presentation

A job interview is usually nerve-wracking. But in order not to be included in the list of rejected applicants, you have to impress your interviewer by being confident. Here are the gestures and body movements you must observe during a job interview.

A firm handshake indicates confidence. Relax on the chair provided for you, but do not slouch. Slouching reflects laziness. Keep your heap up, and lean slightly forward. Place your hands on your lap, and never in your pocket. The hands-in-pocket gesture signifies nervousness, boredom, and dishonesty. As much as possible, you should not cross your legs. But if crossing your legs would help calm your nerves, you may do so but point your body towards the direction of the interviewer. During the conversation, make sure you maintain eye contact to show your interest and eagerness to listen.

2. Art of Animation

Make use of your hands to punctuate or emphasize what you are saying. You will appear stiff if your hands will stay on your lap during the entire period of the interview. Hand gestures also signify that you are honest and indeed knowledgeable of what you are talking about. You can do this while sitting or standing. During a presentation, move around, but walk slowly. The greatest presenters are those who can speak confidently with the right timing of body movements and gestures.

3. Gestures And Movements To Avoid

The wrong gestures, done consciously or unconsciously, could give the wrong impression to your boss, co-workers, and clients. These may be the reason of you getting fired. Therefore, you must avoid the following acts of body language.

Avoid pointing a finger at somebody, especially your boss. Even when you are angry or trying to emphasize a detail, it is regarded as a rude gesture. In meetings, refrain from showing signs of boredom and lack of interest. These signs include arms crossed over the chest, eyes on objects other than the person talking or the presentation itself, yawning, signing, drumming the fingers on the table, or tapping your foot.

Signs That You Are Not Doing A Good Job

If you are the presenter in a meeting or an applicant in a job interview, you must observe the body language of your audience as well. Reading their actions and movements could aid you to be aware of their reactions and if you are doing well.

You would detect if the other party is getting bored if their focus of attention is not on you. This is evident by the absence of eye contact. Observe their hands as well. Even if their eyes are on you, but if their hand are busy, it may mean they are thinking of something else. See if their fingers are playing with their pen or drumming on the surface of the table. Boredom is also indicated when the person in front of you begin to slouch back into their chair.

Signs of opposition to your ideas and opinions are also determined when the other party crosses their arms, wrinkle their forehead, and tilt their head. However, the signs above sometimes do not reflect how someone really feels. What is important is that you know how to prepare yourself in critical times at the workplace.

Body Language From Head To Foot

It is very essential to have the ability to read and understand another person's body language. Listening only to the words the other person is saying is not always enough. His or her body language can always tell if that person is being honest in what she is saying and what she really feels deep inside.

Body language entails the gestures and movements involving the body, from head to foot. Each signal of body language may have different meanings, depending on the situation in which it was delivered.

1. Head

You can signal yes or no by the movement of the head. Nodding usually means “yes” or “I agree”. But in other countries such as Yugoslavia and Turkey, it sometimes means “no”.

Tilting the head backwards or to the side indicates that the person is thinking deeply or considering a though or idea.

2. Face (Eyes, Nose, Lips)

Facial expressions are obvious visible signs of how someone truly feels, however there are some people who have practiced to take control of their facial expressions by making them somewhat expressionless or passive.

Even with an inexpressive face, nobody could miss what is being expressed through the eyes. The eyes can speak volumes given any circumstance. Eye contact is a strong indication of focus of attention, interest, attraction, and honesty. You can spot somebody lying to you if he or she cannot hold an eye contact for a period of time. When the eyes would look away, it signifies lack of interest, dishonesty, and boredom. But there are times when looking away signifies attraction or simply an occurrence of a slight distraction, for as long as the person will look back to the person he is talking to.

Touching or rubbing the nose is one of the most common self-touching gestures, which is usually done by people who are lying or trying to hide something. Blowing of the nose is a gesture seen as rude by most countries, but it is considered as healthy in some countries in Asia.

Licking or biting the lips is one of the typical signals of flirting done by women. Kissing is a gesture to show one's affection, and also used as a form of greeting. But there are conservative countries, particularly in Asia, which do not allow public display of affection such as kissing. And in some cultures like in the Philippines and Puerto Rico, the lips are used for pointing instead of the finger.

3. Arms And Hands

There are plenty different hand gestures, and each one has different meanings. The most common hand gestures are hands-in-the-pocket, arms crossed over the chest, hands on the waist, and handshakes. The first one may indicate nervousness or lack of interest. Crossing the arms signifies a defensive posture, and it may also mean doubt or suspicion of what the other person is saying. The hands on the waist may indicate anger or fury, but men also do this to show their masculinity. A handshake, meanwhile, is a form of greeting in most countries.

4. Legs And Feet

Crossing the legs are done by most people, especially women. Most of the time, it is done as a comfortable position. However, there are countries that regard this action as rude.

The Misuse Of The Ability

The ability of reading someone's body gestures sometimes is not reliable. The gestures performed by a person that are regarded as rude by other people maybe just habits of that person without the intention of being rude.

Be Happy – Be Careful about Your Body Language At Work Place.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Be Happy – The Body Language Can Express Your Love.

It is the body language through which a person shows the affection to another person without telling him or her and one can know that he or she is indeed attracted. One's body language is an obvious way of telling someone how he feels and what he wants to say. Your eyes, facial expressions, and body movements can truly express that you want to engage in a romantic or intimate relationship with another person.

What The Eyes Could Say

The eyes are strong indicators of romance and attraction. They can express, flirt, and even seduce much better than words. Eye contact may not mean anything if it only happens briefly. But once it lasts longer and with an intense look, he or she is definitely into you. Winking will also work, but it does require right timing. Another strong evidence of attraction is when one would catch your eye, then look away, then back at you again. But, if he or she would look away and never look back again, it is a clear sign that he or she is not interested.

Smile And Facial Expressions

The smile is one of the greatest sign that he or she likes you. It means that he is truly interested, comfortable, and enjoying. But make sure you know how to determine a forced smile from a sincere one. Raising the eyebrows, although unconsciously done, has also been observed to be done by people flirting with each other.

Magic Of Touch

Sometimes, leaning towards another is just not enough. Closing the distance is much better. A light tap or stroking of the arm could send electric signals to another person. Most of people would pretend that there is a smudge on the face or lint on the clothes just to have a reason to touch.

Difference Of Men And Women

Compared to men, women can send signals of attraction five times stronger. They have more flirting habits than men and most of them are done intentionally. They love to preen, play with their hair, tossing the hair over the shoulder, and play something with their hands such as a wine glass. Most women are also quite good in seduction and teasing men, especially when they involve their lips. Biting and licking their lips, putting on lipstick, eating or drinking slowly are the usual moves of an interested woman.

Meanwhile, men usually try to appear masculine to show their prowess to the women they like by giving them a look at their full length. They would try to stand taller, square their shoulders, and sometimes hook their thumbs into the belt for that macho aura. They also unconsciously touch their ties or collar, and this means they find you irresistible.

Signals Of An Invitation

You would determine if a person likes you if he or she would give the following signs: prolonged aye contact, raising of eyebrows, smiling back, laughing with you, leaning, closing the distance, imitation of actions of the partner, touching, preening, and the like. If you received these signs, it means there is a big possibility that you could take your interaction to a higher level.

Signs Indicating “No!”

A person is most likely not interested when he or she never glances back at you. You can also determine that person is starting to get bored or uninterested in you when his or her eyes start to wander, sigh, yawn, have a passive or neutral facial expression, and the like.

The signals of body language in terms of romance and attraction are easy to detect if you know how to interpret one's actions. Understanding gestures and body movements of another person can definitely help you know in advance if you can be intimate together or be rejected.

Body Language: Signs Of Falling In Love

How can you tell that a person is already falling in love with you? A person's body language can spell out his or her true feelings and intentions for you. A person in love has that certain glow every time he or she is with that special person, but what are the other signs?

You will notice that a person is already falling for you if he can't stand being far from you, gives more smiles and laughter, mirror your actions, cannot keep his eyes off you, and have that certain glow.

Personal Space And Distance

A person in love with you would look for several ways just to be closer to you. You will know that a person's personal space has gotten smaller when he or she gets comfortable with you even in the slightest distance. And notice if in a room full of people, he will always try to stay close to you.

That person would also tend to lean his body towards you, whether when sitting down or standing up. The direction of his or her body would be always turned towards you. If not, then the direction of her eyes will show who is in her mind.

More Touch, Smiles, And Laughter

A person who is starting to fall for you would listen to you more, thus would give more reactions than he or she did during your first dates. There would be more laughter even for the cheesiest jokes. While talking, one will find in inevitable from smiling, especially during silence. This is because that person is truly enjoying his or her time with you.

He or she would also touch you from time to time. A tap on the shoulder, placing the hand on the small of the back, hugging, and holding the hands are some of the most common touching body language in falling in love.

The Mirroring Actions

This is a funny yet very sweet signal of attraction since it is done unconsciously most of the time. This is where a person would imitate the actions of that special person. For example, you will prop your chin onto your hand, the person in love with you will follow that specific action.

The Longer Stare

A person in love with you simply cannot take his eyes off you. Most especially when the feeling has just begun to develop, he or she would find difficulty in concentrating on other things. The stare is usually intimate or intense, and it is accompanied with a slight smile.

That Certain Glow

Somehow unexplainable, a person has a certain aura around him or her when he or she is in love and happy. It is due to the extreme happiness and joy coming from the inside, and this is well-reflected with a sparkle in the eyes and a smile that is hard to remove from the face.

When a person falls in love, it changes him entirely and this is reflected in his or her body language. Some people fail to notice this, but these signs are definitely there. The person himself is even unaware that he is already providing hints and clues about his true feelings for that special someone. Most people find them hard to miss, and would love these signals of deep attraction sent through the silence but delivered by simple romantic actions and gestures.

Be Happy – The Body Language Can Express Your Love.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Be Happy – Proper Body Language Can Make You Successful.

Body language involves many gestures and movements, and each one with different meanings. It is a complex method of communicating. But the art of body language is that when you learn the interpretations and indications of different body signals, you are able to determine one's inner feelings and emotions. Thus you can control the situation by knowing how to react in advance.

Eye Contact

When one can maintain the eye contact and even prolong it, it is indicative that his focus of attention is in listening to the other person. The inability to maintain it has many meanings, depending on the situation. When there is sudden breakage of eye contact and the eye wanders off to another direction, it may mean that he is distracted by a certain object, like another person entering the room. It may also mean that he is losing interest, getting bored, and would like to get out of the conversation.

The eyes are also used in flirting, especially in knowing if the person is attracted to you or not. When your eyes meet across the room, and then one of you looks aways but looks back, it is a signal of attraction. It is also reflected when the eyes would go down to the lips and then back to the eyes again.

If the eyes would look up to the forehead of another person, it means he is talking to someone with superiority. When the eye would go down to the nose, it means that there are no figure of authority in both parties.


There are two meanings of handshakes. It can show confidence, or the exact opposite, shyness. Confidence is evident in a firm handshake with the hand pointing downward. The palms should also come in contact with each other. On the other hand, a weak handshake with the hand pointing upward indicates shyness or nervousness.

Hand And Arm Gestures

The two most common hand and arm gestures that are advised to be avoided are putting the hands in the pocket and arm crossing. The first gesture, hands in the pocket, may indicate four things: he may be hiding something, bored and uninterested, refusing to perform a task, or nervous and anxious.

The latter gesture, crossing the arms across the chest may mean three things. The person may be protecting from a verbal attack, simply feeling cold, or even probably lying. But it may also indicate that he is disagreeing with you if you are the one talking.

Another common hand gesture is the clenched fist. This indicates anger, frustration, defensiveness, resistance, or confidence.

When Sitting Down And Standing Up

Your emotions can also be reflected by the way you stand or sit. Proper posture is with the shoulders squared and pulled back, but without too much tightening of the back muscles. With the back muscle rigid and stiff, you will appear very tense and nervous. Do not slouch as well. Slouching signifies laziness or boredom.

It is indeed beneficial if you know how to decipher the meanings of another person's body language. However, the indications are not true at all times. Not all impressions from reading body language last. This will only be supportive if you already have an idea on the personality of the person.

Acts Of Body Language That Should Be Avoided

Body language is one of the strongest means of communicating one's feelings, moods, attitude, and personality. In fact more than 60% of the communication process comes from the nonverbal cues which includes the body movements and speech volume, pitch, and pacing.

However, there are body gestures and movements generally considered as inappropriate and rude. A proper body language has a right place and a right time. Most of us are usually unaware of our actions. Thus, it is time to practice learning the acts of body language that must be observed and avoiding the actions which may be offensive to other people.

During A Job Interview

A job interview is a very important step to be accomplished by any applicant. They key to success to be hired for the vacant job does not only depend on the documents you passed. Your employer would also give high regards for the way you move and act. Thus, it is essential for any applicant to observe his body language when being interviewed.

One must avoid slouching, which indicates laziness and boredom. Do not tighten your body muscle as well, for this will make you look stiff thus making you look nervous and lacking confidence. Do not place your hands into your pockets as well; this reflects your anxiety and discomfort. Lack of confidence is very well reflected in tapping of the foot, drumming of the fingers, and fidgeting.

If You Want To Show Interest

Signs of interest include eye contact, and one must be able to maintain it. It signifies that the focus of your attention is on that person. Frequent nodding and leaning your body towards that person also indicates that you are listening to him or her.

Generally Rude Body Language

There are many gestures that are regarded as rude by most people, or that you are avoiding to interact with them. This includes crossing the arms across the chest, holding objects such as books and a bag in front of you, inspecting the time on your watch or the clock, stroking your chin, standing too close, staring or narrowing your eyes, forcing smiles, placing the hand on the waist, slouching, touching your face frequently, blinking more than usual, foot tapping, and many more. Most of these gestures are done unconsciously, but nonetheless, the people who you are talking to may be offended by the said actions.

Posture And Body Movements

One who maintains a good posture is one who relaxes into the chair provided for him, yet his back remains straight with his chin slightly held up and shoulder pulled back. Confidence is also shown in eye contact and in a firm handshake. A poor posture is shown by slouching; it usually means laziness or lack of interest.

If you have a posture that shows confidence, people will treat you differently. They will treat you with more respect.

Be Conscious Of Your Actions

Be aware of how your body move or act. You might be already sending signals of rudeness even during the moments you do not intend to do so. Make sure you maintain a good posture and perform the proper gestures appropriate for the place and time. You might also as well consider the cultural background of the person you are talking to, and adjust to their acceptable behavior and body language.

Be Happy – Proper Body Language Can Make You Successful.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Delayed Justice is the justice denied.

Apropos the news titled, “To get hearing, man sends HC Rs.20k” appeared in the daily, “Times Of India” dt.Sunday January 23, 2011.

We must support the hon’ble judges irked over the initiative taken by Mr.Anil Tikotekar for the offer. Prima facie, the wish of the hon’ble judge stands justified that Mr.Tikotekar must tender apology to the Court for writing a letter to them without caring for the procedure laid down for tendering his grievances properly. How did he dare going out of way to seek an early justice? But our hon’ble judges have forgotten to find out why that litigant had to offer this. What kind of justice is being exercised to him in the name of the procedures of the courts, why their process of delivering the judgments is taking so much time to prove that the delayed justice may appear itself to be injustice and how that poor litigant is managing the affairs to attend the dates could not be looked in by the hon’ble judges before seeking the apology from the litigant who otherwise deserves to be honored with an earliest judgment. The web of the advocates, staff of the courts and the judiciary itself has created such atmosphere that the litigants are not able to look out for the early justice – sometimes the costs of the litigation in terms of time and money exceed the costs of the subject matter of the disputes.

Since I understand the costs of the litigation because of the fact that I had to compromise in one case of the bounced cheque out of the Court as the process running over more than 10 years was costing me too much and in another service case with a government department, I have so far lost 22 years of my working life and still I could not get the blessings of the Court to get it heard on merit basis,

  1. We must ask the whole judiciary systems, all over the world, to make an immediate analysis of itself why Mr.Anil Tikotekar took this decision to offer, and take corrective action before seeking the apology. If it is not done, the day is not far away when the people may start to hate the judiciary also in the same way as our politicians and bureaucrats are going to face the wrath of the people because of the corrupt practices being undertaken by some of them. If technicalities of a system make the outcomes obsolete, that system itself is required to be revamped first to deliver the outcome in time. If India has billions of rupees to squander in the scams and corrupt practices, she must afford some amount for setting up more benches of the courts, recruiting more staff and removing the bottlenecks to ensure easy justice to its people in time.
  1. We must ask all the litigants all over the world also to support Mr.Anil Tikotekar by filing affidavits to the respective courts that they too are willing to offer the price of the time of the courts if their cases are finalized within appropriate time. It is the outlook of the courts to seek an apology for the contempt or improve their own working.
  1. We must ask the media, the governments and the lawmakers all over the world to look into the matter rightfully to make the inhabitants on the earth, more prosperous truly instead of serving the vested interests unknowingly. If judiciary system is made good, a majority of the problems shall not be there.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Be Happy – You Can Handle Anxiety Attacks Easily.

Do you know what anxiety feels like? Our heart pounds before a big presentation or a tough exam. We worry and fret over family problems or feel jittery at the prospect of asking the boss for a raise. However, if worries and fears are preventing you from living your life the way you'd like to, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. The good news is, there are many anxiety treatments and self-help strategies that can help you reduce your anxiety symptoms and take back control of your life.

Understanding anxiety disorders

It’s normal to worry and feel tense or scared when under pressure or facing a stressful situation. Anxiety is the body’s natural response to danger, an automatic alarm that goes off when we feel threatened.

Although it may be unpleasant, anxiety isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, anxiety can help us stay alert and focused, spur us to action, and motivate us to solve problems. But when anxiety is constant or overwhelming, when it interferes with your relationships and activities—that’s when you’ve crossed the line from normal anxiety into the territory of anxiety disorders.

Do you have an anxiety disorder?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder.

  • Are you constantly tense, worried, or on edge?
  • Does your anxiety interfere with your work, school, or family responsibilities?
  • Are you plagued by fears that you know are irrational, but can’t shake?
  • Do you believe that something bad will happen if certain things aren’t done a certain way?
  • Do you avoid everyday situations or activities because they make you anxious?
  • Do you experience sudden, unexpected attacks of heart-pounding panic?
  • Do you feel like danger and catastrophe are around every corner?

Signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders

Because the anxiety disorders are a group of related conditions rather than a single disorder, they can look very different from person to person. One individual may suffer from intense anxiety attacks that strike without warning, while another gets panicky at the thought of mingling at a party. Someone else may struggle with a disabling fear of driving or uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts. Still another may live in a constant state of tension, worrying about anything and everything.

But despite their different forms, all anxiety disorders share one major symptom: persistent or severe fear or worry in situations where most people wouldn’t feel threatened.

Emotional symptoms of anxiety

In addition to the primary symptoms of irrational and excessive fear and worry, other common emotional symptoms of anxiety include:

  • Feelings of apprehension or dread
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Feeling tense and jumpy
  • Anticipating the worst Irritability
  • Restlessness
  • Watching for signs of danger
  • Feeling like your mind’s gone blank

Physical symptoms of anxiety

Anxiety is more than just a feeling. As a product of the body’s fight-or-flight response, anxiety involves a wide range of physical symptoms. Because of the numerous physical symptoms, anxiety sufferers often mistake their disorder for a medical illness. They may visit many doctors and make numerous trips to the hospital before their anxiety disorder is discovered.

Common physical symptoms of anxiety include:

  • Pounding heart
  • Sweating
  • Stomach upset or dizziness
  • Frequent urination or diarrhea
  • Shortness of breath
  • Tremors and twitches
  • Muscle tension
  • Headaches
  • Fatigue
  • Insomnia

The link between anxiety and depression

Many people with anxiety disorders also suffer from depression at some point. Anxiety and depression are believed to stem from the same biological vulnerability, which may explain why they so often go hand in hand. Since depression makes anxiety worse (and vice versa), it’s important to seek treatment for both conditions.

Anxiety attacks and their symptoms

Anxiety attacks, known as panic attacks in mental health circles, ­are episodes of intense panic or fear. They usually occur suddenly and without warning. Sometimes there’s an obvious trigger— getting stuck in an elevator, for example, or thinking about the big speech you’re giving in a few Anxiety attacks are frightening but the good thing is, episodes are generally harmless. In most cases, attacks rarely last for more than 30 minutes, with peak of intensity within the first 10 minutes. What make such attacks dangerous is if it becomes chronic and if it already affects the well-being of a person and already disrupts his normal way of life.

During attack, the terror can be so severe that you feel as if you’re about to die or totally lose control. The physical symptoms are themselves so frightening that many people believe they’re having a heart attack. After an anxiety attack is over, you may be worried about having another one, particularly in a public place where help isn’t available or you can’t easily escape.

Several treatments are proven very effective in stopping anxiety attacks. Let us look at some of the more popular ones:

Breathing technique –

It is one of the most effective ways in controlling anxiety attacks. Proper breathing helps slow down heartbeat and helps calm the tensed muscles as a result of the attack. Breathing also diverts the mind's attention from the "trigger" and calms the self, thus, stopping the attack even faster. Proper breathing techniques are easy to learn and master.

Self-hypnosis –

It is a great tool to alter your thought process as well as your body's reaction to those fearful thoughts. During an anxiety attack, lay down on your back or in any comfortable position and try to process your thoughts. Identify the origin of such fearful thoughts. Know if it is real. If you concentrate enough in finding the origins of your thoughts, you will soon realize that they are really not a valid reason for excessive fear. It may sound simple, and it is. Psychiatrists now recommend self-hypnosis as a treatment for anxiety attacks and other anxiety disorders. (Hypnosis and cognitive-behavioral therapy can be used together by your therapist to stop symptoms of anxiety attacks.)

Meditation –

It has long been credited to relieve stress and anxiety as it promotes the release of negative energy from the body, relaxes tensed muscles, and calms the mind, which in turn, effectively reduces irrational fear and apprehension. Meditation may not be for all because of the time required to master the technique, however, with proper guidance of an expert or a little bit of patience and dedication, you can reap its benefits.

Herbs –

(such as chamomile, passion flower, lavender, and ginkgo biloba) are very effective long-term treatment for anxiety attacks. Since they are all-natural, they posses no side effects. They may not be as aggressive as prescription drugs but they work just as effective.

Prescription medicines –

They are a major help in stopping the symptoms of anxiety and episodes of anxiety attacks. Antidepressants are the most common anxiety treatment. They must be taken continuously, which may take as long as six weeks before noticing the effects. Beta-blockers are a type of drugs that prevent symptoms from recurring. SSRIs or Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors boost the level of serotonin in the brain which regulates and normalizes emotions.

Therapies –

They are a very important anxiety treatment. These target the psychological aspect of anxiety. CBT or the cognitive-behavioral therapy is used to alter the way of thinking – converting negative thoughts into positive ones. Techniques used in CBT include role-playing and relaxation technique. Exposure therapy exposes the person to the physical sensations of panic in a safe and controlled environment. Through repeated exposure, patients gain greater self control and more confidence in facing fearful situation.

Prescription medicines and therapies, when combined and used at treatment, are very effective. Medical studies show that the response rate of patients is much higher if both methods are used compared to those that are treated using either method.

Causes of Child Anxiety Attacks

Child anxiety, just like that of adults, is a normal, healthy emotion felt as a response to certain stimuli. But when anxiety becomes recurring, irrational and intense, it may be considered as a disorder. Episodes of anxiety attacks can disable the child from performing his daily duties in school and at home. And while it is generally safe, anxiety attacks can affect how the child lives.

Since children are more fragile, they more vulnerable to such attacks and the effects of these attacks may be more severe than to adults. But what causes anxiety attacks? Here are some of the most common reasons of anxiety attacks:

School Phobia and Separation Anxiety

When a child reaches a certain age, he or she develops school phobia. The exact reason for this is still unknown, but what happens is, the child becomes excessively afraid of going to school. A child manifests this fear by creating reasons and complaining ailments such as toothaches, headache, and stomach cramps to keep him or her from going to school. School phobia is often linked to separation anxiety but the latter can manifest to situations other than in school (e.g. being with a group of people or joining other family for the weekend).

Again, the exact reason for this is unknown. Separation anxiety is excessive fear of being away from someone whom the child is comfortable being with. Tale-told signs of separation anxiety are similar to school phobia.


Stress is linked to anxiety attacks. It may be a result of heavy responsibilities at home and in school, unfinished tasks, physical and psychological abuse, a school bully, environment that is unfit for the child's age, violence, etc.

Change in lifestyle

A child creates friends in school and in the neighborhood. These friends would make him or her feel comfortable and accepted. So when the family moves to another place or to a different school, a child loses the friend and comfort he or she has established and forces him or her to start all over again. If the child cannot cope with this stressful situation, it can lead to episodes of anxiety attack.

Indirect Reasons

In many cases, anxiety attacks just come out of the blue, or happen without any logical, clear or apparent reason. It may occur while the child is relaxed during the day and even while asleep. This may only happen only once. Perhaps, an anxiety attack is brought about by unresolved internal issues, which are not directly connected with the trigger. For example, a child who experiences a death of a loved one may panic whenever a certain, almost similar situation happens. The traumatic experience that he or she went through in the past which are not processed properly can come out, in this case through an attack.

A child may also show episodes of anxiety attacks because the problem at hand reminded him or her about family conflicts. Fighting in the family as well as divorce of parents may be traumatic to a child that when witnessing a similar situation, he or she goes into a panic.

Take note that there is no single reason (and it takes several factors) for a child to have an anxiety attack, but whatever it is, what's important is how do deal with it properly.

Handling Anxiety Attacks

Anxiety attacks can be seen as an abnormal and irrational panic over trivial things or accidents or for no reason at all. Attacks usually occur without warning and a person can simply burst into fear. Triggers can cause anxiety attack – like getting stuck in the elevator or being called to recite in the class – but in other cases, attacks come out of the blue. An anxiety attack is disproportionate reaction to the situation or the problem at hand, leaving the person excessively fearful, or sometimes incapacitated, which affects life, relationships, happiness and peace of mind.

Symptoms of Anxiety Attack

A person undergoing an episode of anxiety attack shows the following symptoms:

  • Heart palpitation (increase in heartbeat)
  • Hot flashes or chills
  • Hyperventilation
  • Surge of overwhelming panic
  • Feeling detached or unreal
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Trouble breathing
  • Feeling of losing control, going crazy; or fear of dying
  • Choking sensation
  • Nausea or stomach crams
  • Sweating
  • Dizziness
  • Chest discomfort or pain

Handling anxiety attacks

Anxiety attacks usually peak within 10 minutes and rarely last for half an hour. But during this time, a person can totally lose control of himself and show symptoms mentioned above. To handle this attack, a person must:

Relax –

Although it is often impossible to relax during an attack, it is very crucial not to submit yourself to your emotion. Breathe. Deep breathing helps calms and relaxes your mind and body. During an anxiety attack, focus your breathing to slow down your heartbeat. This also diverts your attention from the attack which helps you recover faster. Take some time and practice deep breathing exercises even if you are not stressed or feel anxious.

Think positively –

Again, during an anxiety attack, it is often impossible to relax or even calm yourself, but you have to be in control. Push more positive thoughts to your head. Instead of thinking that others will humiliate you or you are going to faint because you cannot take the pressure, think of the good things. Do no anticipate that something bad will happen because in reality, there isn't. Keep in mind that the more you think negatively, the more anxious and panicky it is going to be.

Think that it will be over soon –

It will. Anxiety attacks do not last for more than an hour so there is no reason for you to think and feel that your world is over. You don't have to be mindful of the time. You don't even have to count every minute that passed. What you should be doing is be conscious that it will not going to last forever.

Start an exercise program –

We have heard that exercise has lots of benefits both to the body and the mind. It is also a great stress buster and anxiety reliever. Experts agree that as little as 30 minutes of exercise, 3 to 5 times a week is enough to lower the level of stress and reduce the chances of having episodes of anxiety attacks.

Talk to someone you trust –

It can be your friend, your wife (husband), a relative or a therapist. Often, having someone who listens and understands what a person is going through will make a lot of difference. This is because it allows you to bring out your emotion rather than keeping it to yourself.

Be Happy – You Can Handle Anxiety Attacks Easily.