Saturday, June 30, 2012

Be Happy – Love Yourself.

Love can be defined as an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment with someone. It is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —“the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. Love may describe actions towards others or oneself based on compassion or affection. If it gets some consideration, that is only sacrifice without expecting any return. 
We refer love to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from pleasure (“I loved that meal") to interpersonal attraction (“I love my partner”). "Love" may refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love, to the emotional closeness of familial love, to the platonic love that defines friendship, or to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love, or to a concept of love that encompasses all of those feelings. Love may be understood as part of the survival instinct, a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species.

You Can Continue Your Love Affairs while Working.

Love is an emotional offspring. You can not dictate someone to love you or you can not be done with so. Sometime, it happens that you see someone and find that he/she is so attractive that you wish to talk, see closer and do not get bore if meeting time goes on increasing. That person can be an outsider or one amongst your colleagues.
Luckily, if he/she is one amongst your colleagues having working post just nearby to you, you may find that understanding your mutual work lives can deepen your relationship. And instead of rushing home each evening, you may be willing to work late, especially if you can do it alongside your beloved. It can be beneficial even to your employer if you devote your time more sincerely, side-by-side enjoying the company of the person you love.
No doubt, having love affairs at the work place do have merits and demerits as well. Be careful if your love affairs go sour, there may no escape but a lot of disgust and loss of mental peace affecting your productivity and perhaps, risk of shunting you off the job as you may still have to see and interact with that person daily. A failed workplace romance can also hurt your career and reputation.
If your love affairs remain sweet, other people may view your well earned promotion or raise as favoritism. And even if the relationship works out, it can be tough to work with your lover. You may get sick of each other if due to work, your spouse is posted at some more distance than earlier.
Whether you should or should not invite someone at the office isn't always a clear-cut decision. It depends on your situation and personality. But if you decide to make the leap, tread carefully over these issues.
Before going ahead in love affairs within the office, you must make sure that you can afford the brunt of failure also.
If you decide to go ahead in love affairs by frequently meeting somebody in your office, you must not tell to any other one or act in such a way that some other one is able to guess as he/she would always be there to watch your proceeding ahead and make it news in the office. From then on, the two of you will be under the microscope. It's even dangerous if the two of you are peers. For example, if you're seen helping your sweetie out with work, someone else who also needs your help may go to the boss and complain you're playing favorites. Thereafter, the other people may start to keep watch and apprise your Boss of the developments. Your boss will start to see the productivity from your end and your beloved one’s end. If there is some reduction, he can comment to make the relationship sour. At your end, if it doesn't work out, you still have to face that person every day. You will have to make sure that you can tolerate all the unsolicited comments from the concerned and unconcerned persons.
You Need To Be Very Much Smart by not opening your book in any stage before finally positive working out the relationship.
You should not expose your entire life to become an open book. Before you ask the person you love for a drink, you must ascertain that he/she isn't the type to share your innermost secrets to any third person for any reason. Better, you should not disclose unless you mature your relationship.
Love Affairs with a junior must not come to limelight.
If due to some happening, you feel love for a junior, try to ensure that your emotions do not come to limelight. Your relationship can be misconstrued as a power play - "Attend me, or you won't get that promotion." If you do not find yourself able to control yourself, you must change the office/posting.
If some senior fellow is there, you must handle the affairs very carefully. If things go beyond your control or he/she misuses, you could get hit with a lawsuit for sexual harassment, even if the relationship was mutual. Some companies require managers to report workplace romances and both parties to sign an agreement stating they willingly entered the relationship.
You must prefer for the work over the display of your love within the corridors of office.
Good people keep workplace romances a secret. But secrets can cause issues among coworkers. The key is to be discreet. Don't hold closed-door meetings, don't make overt displays of affection in the office and stay focused on work. You must prefer for the work within the corridors of the office so that none can hit you for any fault.
It's important not to spend every waking hour with your lover and your work. That's not good for any relationship. You must make a separate line for both. Pursue other interests together and individually. And make sure you have more in common than your jobs.
You Must Be Honest with Your Prospective Partner.
Honesty is the best policy and even in your love affairs, you must be honest with your prospective partner. It is more important if your partner is working within your office. If you're only looking for a quick fling, you shouldn't make long-term-relationship noises in your efforts to seduce. That candor is always important, but especially so in the workplace.
You Must Think Twice Before Starting a Relationship with Your Boss.
In some workplaces, this is strictly forbidden, but even if it is permissible, you must be alert. If later on, you dump your boss, he/she may retaliate through every opportunity for torturing you.
In fairness, sometimes a relationship with a boss can yield special privileges, like a corner office. Even if the boss decides to end the relationship, he may give you a promotion or another perk to reduce the risk that you'll file a grievance. One study found that 64 percent of women who had a romantic relationship with their boss reported that, as a result, their work situation improved.
Love affairs with your senior are also risky even if the relationship is working well. For example, your honey begs you for a plum assignment that, from a business perspective, you believe should go to someone else. But you feel forced to say yes to your special friend. And if you break off the relationship, you're really in danger: Your former beloved could claim you abused your power. You could end up losing your job.
If You Decide to Go for It, Be Professional.
If you do decide to pursue a work-related relationship, inform management, because chances are they already know. If you keep it a secret and they find out, it can lead to distrust.
But keep work on priority. Don't come in and set up camp at a table for six hours while your boyfriend is working his shift. We can't mirror two schedules all the time because you would like to work as a couple. Business needs must come first.
Love is as essential to the life as the bread is. If you are not able to serve your emotions well, what are you working for?
Prefer Love over Hatred.
God gave us two ears to hear, two eyes to see and two hands to hold. But why did God give us only one heart? Because he wants us to find the other one. You love someone not because you need that person, you need that person because you love that person. In love, the past is not important, but the present. Experience is more relevant than the pain you went through. The only thing that will make it stronger is forgiveness and not the retorting of sin. God is so good. He knows where a person will be happy, where they can love and be loved, where heaven on earth is.
No matter what words were used or what meaning about love was delivered, love quotes were said and written out of inspiration and to emphasize each person’s purpose for living…and that is to give love. There are times when one must love even to the detriment of one's "state" (so it would seem, anyway). There are times when one must work oneself to the point of exhaustion for the sake of love. And there are times when one must get involved in things that seem less than clean, less than spiritual, in order to help the humanity. One must jump into the mud in order to rescue those who are drowning in it. One must jump into the ocean of ignorance, attachment, strange ideas and views, spiritual falsities, in order to save people from these things.
Out of love God becomes man, and takes on the incredible burden of ego, of illusion, of ignorance, in order to save man from these. In the same way, it is important for man to hold the well-being of all ABOVE "spiritual elevation." The kind of spiritual elevation that seems to be in competition with true love and service and help is not true spiritual elevation. Love is the truest spiritual state of man. It is the closest to God, and the closest to Truth. This is not to say that one should not take the time necessary to be with Him, to rejuvenate in prayer and communion, this is essential -- just as food and friendship and air are essential -- to the human soul.
One must have a balanced and wide view of these things. Sometimes, when one is performing a task for the sake of love and one begins to feel weary, tired, one's mind may even feel less spiritualized and illuminated due to the tiredness that one feels. In that case, there are two ways that people might tend to choose. One person may heroically work on until falling over in need of rest. Another person may stop immediately in order to rejuvenate, reconnect to God, etc. Either of these choices may be appropriate, but most likely something more balanced is appropriate. People should not feel as if their spirituality is so frail that they are not able to persist in a task, or in the great task of world salvation, to the extent that is truly needed. And also, one must maintain one's connection to God, one's spiritual/emotional health. Therefore, it is wise to take a moment, an hour, a day, or even more, to rejuvenate in His arms when necessary.
There are times when it would be wise to work until you fall over, for if you fall He will catch you. And, truth be told, He is with you always. When you see the truth, you will know that He is always with you, even AS you are working yourself to the bone. So, He does not want to take away from the value of being willing to fall over in your efforts to serve, to save, etc.
At the same time, there are times when it is absolutely necessary and/or appropriate to take very regular breaks to be with God. There are times when the super-abundance that this would create is what is absolutely needed (for example, when a person needs a type of healing from you, which would take a super-abundance of energy). And also, there are times when a very HIGH refinement in one's way of thinking is also absolutely needed for the task. People of the absolute HIGHEST enlightenment may be able to maintain such a rarity and illumination of thought in any state, but most of His followers cannot. Therefore, there are times when it is appropriate to take regular breaks with God, long before you are anywhere near the point of falling down.
You must evaluate these things with this question: What does love require? What does this person, this world, this group require? You must feel through things with this question in your hearts, and turn to Him continually for guidance, for the answer to this question, and you will find the right way to go in each specific case.
There is nothing so untrue TO YOU as the lives that you are living. Your hearts are dissatisfied. You are so dissatisfied with the values that you and others around you have. You experience your relationships with others to be dis-satisfactory, because human beings everywhere are choosing to follow the values that this world has to offer, rather than loving wholeheartedly, passionately, with generosity and integrity.
It is true that ordinary" in the sense that you understand the word "ordinary." Love is greater than anything that this world has to offer. What this world calls love, for the most part, is not enough to keep any heart feeling alive and happy.
The point of your entire existence is to love. Learn to love, transcend yourselves for the sake of love, for the sake of others. That is the whole reason that you are here, to love. Many people go through their whole lives pursuing other things. When they die they are unfulfilled. No person can be fulfilled until they learn to truly love; to love from the heart, without self-protection, without fear.
Love means that you are aware of others around you, that you care about them from the depths of your heart, with all the emotion and attention that you feel for yourself and your own life. Love means that the spiritual and emotional well-being of others means everything to you, and you will commit your being and your life to enriching the lives of others; to uplifting their spirits; to reminding them of who they are; to helping them let go of false ideas and fears, and to love.
This may seem out of reach, you may be thinking, "That's far ahead of where I am. I'm just a beginner in the spiritual path; I'm not a saint." You may then think that you are invalid. You need to understand that you learn to love by loving. And since there is no other purpose to being here, on this planet, you may as well start now.
It is true that love requires learning to love. It is true, that you will have to go through many cycles of learning what you are doing that is unloving, and adjusting to be more loving. But you see, this is all part of the love itself: to learn; to adjust, to transcend your limitations.
There may be many things that you do now that you call love, but you will come to find out that they are not done out of love, but out of fear, or self-protection, or self-interest. Love requires that when you see that truth, you face it with courage, and adjust. The ego requires that when you see that fact, you collapse, feel terribly ashamed, and fail to make the adjustment; and fail to love, because you are too busy feeling bad about yourself. Or else, ego will require you to deny the errors you make, or become defensive. Either way, love will not be fulfilled.
Love will be fulfilled when you are willing to be honest. Yes, this is one of the first requirements for love: self-honesty. When you are self-honest it is because you hold something, or someone, as being more important than defending your bad habits or negative beliefs. When people are willing to look honestly at themselves it is almost always for love's sake.
So, you must look around you, at your beloved ones -- your friends, your family, whoever is most near to you -- and love them. Learn from them what you are doing that is unloving, either by asking them, or by paying attention to their responses to what you are doing. Learn to love them better. Commit yourselves to this task of loving, truly loving.
And also, look at those whom you do not consider your friends, and love them too, despite everything that causes you to feel distant from them, or angry or unhappy with them. Love them despite these things. See past their negative attributes and bad habits to the soul that they are, and love that soul, and pray for their release from the bad habits that have bothered you and hurt you for so long; for those bad habits have hurt them, too. Your love must prevail upon your hate. Prefer love over hatred.
Love is to see who people are, and who God is -- who God REALLY is, and who people REALLY are -- and to love them. Love is to see what everything really is, and to love everything, as it really is. And also, love is to see what people are going through, and to care, and to respond honestly, without letting self-protective or fearful feelings get in the way.
This is love: to transcend oneself for others. Love is to adjust for others. Love is to see others, and love them. And by means of true love, others feel less and less like others. You come to feel that every man and woman, and God, and the whole earth, is your own -- your own child, brother, sister. And then, further, you come to feel that these ARE you; part of your own body, your own soul. Your desires are not separate from those of God, or from the true heart's desires of others. When this comes to be, you will have found inner peace, and there will no longer be any need for struggle.
Sincere Love Can Accomplish Your Dreams.
Love is that type of emotion which is related to a sense of strong affection and attachment with someone or self. The word love can refer to different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure, as getting attracted to some specific meal due to taste or aroma, to intense interpersonal attraction as happens between wife and husband. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states. Its definition changes from time to time in the different contexts.
We usually refer love to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.
Love is an essential matter for the success of your emotional life. If you develop and nurture it properly, be sure you can add up more than 16 years to your life span. That is why it needs special consideration and for that you need to create conducive atmosphere to develop. How to build up and nurture love in your life, there is a simple story for those who mostly work on computers and forget the importance of this factor in their life which I am putting up as I read somewhere. One computer-savy wishes to install love in his life and asks for the guidance from technical support expert. What they discuss is for your information and kind consideration.
Customer: Do you give technical guidance?
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?

Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready, as long as you walk me through the steps. Tell me now, what do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: Er… what programs are running, can you list them for me?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, you can go right ahead. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-esteem with a module of its own called High Self-esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Tell me, can you turn those off?

Customer: Umm… let me see. Actually, I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? Please help.
Tech Support: With pleasure. It’s really quite simple. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Wow, Love has started i9nstalling itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. It’s quite basic. You need to begin connecting to other Hears in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, ‘Error – Program not run on external components.’ What should I do now?
Tech Support: Don’t worry, relax. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-acceptance; then click in the following files: Forgive Self; Realize Your Worth; and acknowledge Your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done. That wasn’t too difficult.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the ‘My Heart’ directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also you need to delete Verbose Self-criticism from all directories and empty you Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
This way, I would like to emphasize over the need of making love with yourself. I use the word “making” because for others, we forget ourselves. That is why we may have to make extra efforts to love ourselves. Our true nature is love itself. This is the only kind of love that is real and everlasting. This love cannot be damaged, altered, threatened or changed in any way. It pours out of us naturally when our mind is calm and at ease, and it opens our heart to the God, flooding our body with absolute elation. 
Every day that we choose to do those gentle and kind things to ourself, those things that bring deep peace into our heart (such as watching a beautiful sunset, walking slowly in nature, or holding a sleeping baby) we can feel this sweet divine love so easily. This love wants to move through us. It yearns to course through our veins like an eternal fountain of life.  Rejuvenating every cell and molecule throughout our system, this love brings pure healing into us on the deepest levels.
We can invoke this love right now by turning inside and asking ourself, "where is the source of love"?  Look with gentle eyes, a childlike innocence and a permeating curiosity.  Very soon we will experience a warm feeling opening from inside.  It is amazing how this secret love is always permanently inside us, yet is often hidden behind the ego walls and the busy ambitious mind.  To break down these walls and reveal the true source of love we must engage in a process of peeling back the layers of limiting beliefs within us.  It’s those beliefs that say this type of crazy wild ecstatic love is impossible to have and is something we have to do something to experience right now.  The truth is we need to do nothing but relax deeply inside and it will spring forth.  This love is always here now, forever inside us, and no matter what inhibitions and insecurities pass through our mind. No matter how depressed, suicidal or down in the dumpsters we feel, this sacred feeling is available and will bless us by instantly wiping all our worried problems away.
Here's a simple exercise that will invoke this divine love to come forth.  We may gently bring our attention to the area of our heart and imagine the most beautiful flower is there, and its opening its petals to the warm sunshine above.  The feeling we receive is what opens the door to accessing the infinite source of love.  Just how it sounds, this eternal source of love is no small matter, it is the most amazing thing in this Universe so we must respect it as that.  It is what brings purpose to our life and healing to all those wounds we carry inside.  It’s like a constantly pulsing Sun inside us, radiating warmth and gratitude in every direction.  It shines upon everything we see, touch and sense, and does not discriminate at all what it shines upon.  It radiates unconditional acceptance, giving compassion and understanding to the darkest most demonic energies we know of, which are in the deepest need of finding this infinite source of light inside.
One of the most sacred secrets I've found to remaining in the source of love is learning how to consistently reside in the soul of our heart.  What this means in living from a heart centered life that is timeless, formless, always expansive, positive, and spacious.  To find it takes something very real and radical.  We must continuously abandon all concepts, judgments and ideas of ourself.  We must drop who we are and who we are not, and give all these ideas back to God.  In the absence of these ideas we are left with an emptiness that is so pure and fertile that only the most sacred experience in the Universe can be born.  Letting go of our identity seems like a huge scary sacrifice at first, yet the reward we may receive is so enormous that it will take our life far beyond anything we once believed was possible. For it is at the very core of this empty vacuum of identity that we will find the purest source of love, the eternal being who we truly are. 
No matter what is happening in our life we can detach, retreat and discover this divine home inside us. This sacred spiritual nest is more easily found when we commit yourself to places and people that make we feel quiet, calm and peaceful inside. The people who hold this vibration will take us there naturally, just by hanging out with them.  Their commitment to abiding in this healing vibration is contagious.  As they talk, walk and breathe in this healing source themselves, we can feel their connection and naturally mimic this love alignment within ourselves.  The more surrendered, peaceful and still a person is, the more love they will be naturally radiating.  We are all here to help each other ascend to higher levels of consciousness through love.  In this process you'll find the depth of your trust and surrender is equal to your level of devotion to yourself. 
In practical terms looking at our own life, how willing are we to let go of our old patterns and excuses and give these up to experience real love?  How are we hiding our bright light from the world?  What excuses do we have for not fully living our life purpose and doing what we really want to be doing with our time here?  All this hiding is a form of lying and is completely dis-empowering.  Even the little white lies that we may tell others and ourselves, these keep us small, stuck and feeling stale.  We have to acknowledge what lies we are telling (ask our friends for feedback) and then summon the courage to let them go. We may replace any lie we find with the truth, the real and most radical truth we can find.  From this place we become free and can truly ride with reckless abandon on this wild eternal journey into the heart of love. 
No matter what happens in our life, we may remember this one thing.  This sacred source of love is always here, inside us right now and this will never ever change.  This love inside us can never die, and it won't even change with the different situations, careers, or relationships that come and go through our life.  If our heart still hurts from losses in our past, we may bring these feelings and memories of loss into the heart of love.  This infinite source of love will readily accept them and transform them with its bright unconditional light.  Yes, the Sun is always there shining its love on us even when it’s a dark cloudy day. We may remember this, and look inside our very heart for the source of love.  It is always here now, ready for us to experience it all the time.
Be Happy – Love Yourself.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Be Happy – Celebrate Father’s Day.

Every father toils hard to provide for his family. He makes sure that all the expenses and requirements of each member of his family are met satisfactorily. You know! In the course of his struggle to put smiles on your face, he makes sacrifices in his own inimitable ways.
Although all the love and care which a father showers upon his children is difficult to be reciprocated, some recognition was required and that is why we celebrate every third Sunday of June as Father’s day. Surely, when kids grow into adulthood, they realize how many sacrifices their fathers had made to raise them. Some persons learn it when they become fathers of their progeny, themselves.
How would you celebrate? You may gift him anything which may be of his personal use and he is not getting perhaps due to some other pressing needs of the family. You can accomplish some task which might have been assigned by him to you some time ago and you could not complete it then. You can express your thankfulness for the affection you have been getting since your birth. One thing, you can do very easily if you are living in joint family. Instead of gifting him something, you can keep care of his health by providing him nutrients.
You can Give 900 milligrams of DHA omega-3s a day to your father.
Our brain is 60% fat -- and half of that is DHA, which keeps the brain cells flexible, fluid, and communicating well. DHA also fights memory loss. Our body can't make DHA, so we have to get it from food and supplements. We get our DHA from algae-based capsules - not fish oil - to limit concerns about toxins in fish. You may opt for fresh or canned salmon, canned tuna, trout, sardines, walnuts, avocadoes, canola oil, and flaxseeds. Along with olive oil, these memory protectors are the only fats you should even think about providing him for eating.
You Can give him oodles of fruits and vegetables. Their nutrients are vital brain food. Provide him with 1,000 international units (IU) of vitamin D3 a day and 1,200 IU after age 60. Vitamin D3 helps blood flow to his brain, among many other benefits.
You Can Provide Season foods with turmeric. Most yellow mustard has turmeric. A daily teaspoon may help clear cellular waste from his brain. Why are we beating this drum again? Impressive new research just reinforced their importance -- especially of fruits, vegetables, and DHA -- as a secret sauce against the brain shrinkage seen in Alzheimer's disease.
Simply, you may ask your mom or wife to care that his meals are supplemented with some of the following items.
1.      Apples:
An apple a day keeps the doctor away: a very clich├ęd saying but very true. Phytochemicals, present in apples, act as an anti-inflammatory and also prevent the blood from clotting. It is also high on fibers and vitamins. An apple also makes the perfect snack for someone who is always on the go. Plus it is available in different varieties, so your father might not get bored of it soon. Add a few chopped pieces of apple in his Greek salad making it healthier.
2.      Almonds:
You might have been avoiding giving nuts to your father for the oil they contain. If yes, then bring it back to his plate because this oil is actually healthy for his heart. The Vitamin E that almonds contain helps in keeping his cholesterol level under control. Like apples, almonds are also high on fiber and Vitamin content. Again a perfect 5 PM snack. Add to his heart's health by serving him 4–5 soaked almonds each morning with his breakfast.
3.      Soy:
Soy is not a very tasty option but it's really good for his heart. Soy protein can prevent him from having a stroke. It is also a great replacement for the red meat that you've been trying to cut on for him. This will help in reducing the intake of saturated fats. Add a few chunks of soy to his rice or stir fry it with the veggies. You can also use soy milk as a substitute for regular milk, for making milk shakes and with his morning cereal.
4.      Berries:
Strawberries, cranberries, blueberries, mulberry, huckleberry, gooseberry and all the other berries are a pack load of vitamin C. With so many flavors your father can possibly never get bored of eating berries. Apart from vitamin C they also contain calcium and beta-carotene. These fibrous fruits are perfect with breakfast oats or with yogurt. Out of all these berries blueberry has the most nutrients that will keep his heart healthy.
5.      Salmon:
His heart will love him for the fresh salmon. Fish contains omega-3 fatty acids. This will help his blood from clotting. It is suggested that he should be given fish (sea food) at least twice a week for a healthy heart. Opt for grilled fish and avoid spicy seasoning. You can also add a dash of lime to it for an excellent flavor and add it to his green salad.
6.      Tomatoes:
Tomatoes contain lycopene (a phytochemical) that is known to lower cholesterol, cut risk of colorectal cancer and heart disease. Studies show that men who regularly eat food rich in lycopene have lesser chances of developing prostate cancer and heart disease. He might want to start enjoying tomato sauce as it has more lycopene. Cooked tomato works much better on his body that raw ones. So start adding it to his vegetables and salads. Tomato is also known to improve memory and other signs of aging.
Green leafy vegetables and olive oil are vital for maintaining a healthy heart. One serving of leafy greens a day can be key to preventing heart disease. So add them in plenty to his daily diet!
7.      Whole Grain:
Starting the day with whole-grain cereal may lower the risk of heart failure in the long run, as whole grains protect against coronary heart disease.
8.      Oats:
Start his day with a bowl of oats! Oats are full of fiber, omega-3 fatty acids, foliate, and potassium, and can help lower cholesterol levels and keep arteries clear.
9.      Brown rice:
It may be a better choice over white because it has an ingredient that protects against high blood pressure and atherosclerosis. It is also a good source of fiber and helps lower cholesterol levels in the body.
10. Red Wine:
You may ditch his beer and whiskey and serve wine to him. Antioxidants in red wine called polyphenols may help protect the lining of blood vessels in your heart.
The above suggestions are made just to keep in mind that if your father keeps his health well, you will continue to have his blessings which are necessary for your happiness.

Be Happy – Celebrate Father’s Day.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Be Happy – Manage Your Time.

Those who become Great in their life know the value of their time. For achieving their targets, they use their time best. If you wish to become great, you need some discipline, regularity in your working style and discipline means to use your time best.
How? Have you ever had the experience of looking back on your performance during the last week with the sinking feeling that you didn't get as much done as you'd hoped? When building a successful career or a business of your own, your time is perhaps your most valuable asset, and your income is a direct result of how you spend your time. You cannot buy any more time than you're given, and the clock is always ticking.
You Must Keep a Detailed Time Log.
The first step to better managing your time is to find out how you're currently spending your time. Keeping a time log is a very effective way to do this, and after trying it for just one day, you'll immediately gain tremendous insight into where your time is actually going. The very act of measuring is often enough to raise your unconscious habits into your consciousness, where you then have a chance to scrutinize and change them.
Here's how to keep a time log. Throughout your day record the time whenever you start or stop any activity. Consider using a stopwatch to just record time intervals for each activity. You can do this during only your working time or throughout your entire day. At the end of the day, sort all the time chunks into general categories, and find out what percentage of your time is being spent on each type of activity. If you want to be thorough, do this for a week, and calculate the percentage of your total time that you spent on each type of activity. Be as detailed as possible. Note how much time you spend on email, reading newsgroups, web surfing, phone calls, eating, going to the bathroom, etc. If you get up out of your chair, it probably means you need to make an entry in your time log.
You may be surprised to discover you're spending only a small fraction of your working time doing what you'd consider to be actual work. Studies have shown that the average office worker does only 1.5 hours of actual work per day. The rest of the time is spent socializing, taking coffee breaks, eating, engaging in non-business communication, shuffling papers, and doing lots of other non-work tasks. The average full-time office worker doesn't even start doing real work until 11:00am and begins to wind down around 3:30pm.
You Must Analyze Your Results.
The first time I kept a time log, I only finished 15 hours worth of real work in a week where I spent about 60 hours in my office. Even though I was technically about twice as productive as the average office worker, I was still disturbed by the results. Where did those other 45 hours go? My time log laid it all out for me, showing me all the time drains I wasn't consciously aware of -- checking email too often, excessive perfectionism doing tasks that didn't need to be done, over-reading the news, taking too much time for meals, succumbing to preventable interruptions, etc.
You Must Calculate Your Personal Efficiency Ratio.

When I realized that I spent 60 hours at the office but only completed 15 hours of actual work within that time, I started asking myself some interesting questions. My income and my sense of accomplishment depended only on those 15 hours, not on the total amount of time I spent at the office. So I decided to begin recording my daily efficiency ratio as the amount of time I spent on actual work divided by the total amount of time I spent in my office. While it certainly bothered me that I was only working 25% of the time initially, I also realized it would be extremely foolish to simply work longer hours.

Efficiency Ratio = (Time Doing "Real Work") / (Time Spent "At Work")
You Must Cut Back On Total Hours To Force An Increase In Efficiency.

If you've ever tried to discipline yourself to do something you weren't really motivated to do, you most likely failed. That was naturally the result I experienced when I tried to discipline myself to work harder. In fact, trying harder actually de-motivated me and drove my efficiency ratio even lower. So I reluctantly decided to try the opposite approach. The next day I would only allow myself to put in five hours total at the office, and the rest of the day I wouldn't allow myself to work at all.

Well, an interesting thing happened, as I'm sure you can imagine. My brain got an idea that working time was a scarce commodity because I worked almost the entire five hours straight and got an efficiency ratio of over 90%. I continued this experiment for the rest of the week and ended up getting about 25 hours of work done with only 30 hours total spent in my office, for an efficiency ratio of over 80%. So I was able to reduce my weekly working time by 30 hours while also getting 10 more hours of real work done. If your time log shows your efficiency ratio to be on the low side, try severely limiting your total amount of working time for a day, and see what happens. Once your brain realizes that working time is scarce, you suddenly become a lot more efficient because you have to be. When you have tight time constraints, you will usually find a way to get your work done. But when you have all the time in the world, it's too easy to be inefficient. You Must Gradually Increase Total Hours While Maintaining Peak Efficiency.

Over a period of a few weeks, I was able to keep my efficiency ratio above 80% while gradually increasing my total weekly office time. I've been able to maintain this for many years now, and I commonly get about 40 hours of real work done every week, while only spending about 45 total hours in my office. I've learned that this is ideal for me. If I try to put in more time at the office, then my productivity drops off rapidly. The interesting thing is that the system that allowed me to optimize my effectiveness at work also created a tremendous amount of balance in all other areas of my life. Even though I was able to use this approach to triple my business productivity, I still gained plenty of time to pursue personal interests.

Time logging is the intelligent choice to ensure optimal productivity without increasing your hours. But time logging need only be done periodically to provide these benefits. I do it for one week every 3-6 months, and over the years it has made a huge difference for me, always providing me with new distinctions. If I go too many months without time logging, my productivity gradually drops as I fall back into unconscious time-wasting habits. You'll probably find as I do that your gut feelings about your productivity are closely related to how much real work you actually get done. When you feel your productivity is lower than you'd like, raise your awareness via time logging, measure your efficiency ratio, and then optimize your efficiency to boost your productivity back up where it belongs. Time logging is a high leverage activity that takes very little time and effort to implement, but the long-term payoff is tremendous.

When you pursue the path of developing your personal productivity, it may cause you some days of hair-pulling and teeth-gnashing, but it does eventually pay off. I think many people are attracted to the idea of becoming more productive out of basic common sense. It doesn’t take much brainpower to figure out that if you use your time more efficiently, you’ll complete more tasks, and therefore you’ll accumulate results faster. Personal productivity allows you to create enough space in your life to do all the things you feel you should be doing: eat healthy, exercise, work hard, deepen relationships, have a wonderful social life, and make a difference. Otherwise, something has to give. Without a high level of personal productivity, you’ll likely have to give up something that’s important to you. You have conflicts between health and work, work and family, family and friends. Industry can give you the ability to enjoy all of these things, so you don’t have to choose work over family or vice versa. You can have both.

One thing more, you may go in some industry because it is only one tool among many. It will allow you to complete your work efficiently, but it won’t tell you what work to do in the first place. Industry is a low level tool. Working hard doesn’t necessarily mean working smart. But this weakness of industry doesn’t remove its powerful place in your personal development toolbox. Once you’ve decided on a course of action and see your plans laid out in front of you, nothing can do the job as well as industry. In the long run your results will come from your actions, and industry is all about action.

Be Happy - Manage Your Time.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Be Happy – Let Us Restore Our Democracy.

We are aware that in course of time, our MPs are reduced to bonded labour of their parties, more particularly after anti-defection bill was enacted. But we know that the People are supreme in democracy, not the Parliament constituted by the representatives elected by the people. 

But unfortunately, in India, the People do not have any control, whatsoever, on the functioning of Parliament, says Magsaysay Award winner Arvind Kejriwal.

Once, Gandhi Ji wrote  about the British parliament in Hind Swaraj in 1908, 'That which you consider to be the Mother of Parliaments is like a sterile woman and a prostitute. Both these are harsh terms, but exactly fit the case. That parliament has not yet, of its own accord, done a single good thing. Hence I have compared it to a sterile woman... It is like a prostitute because it is under the control of ministers who change from time to time...'

'As a matter of fact, it is generally acknowledged that the members are hypocritical and selfish. Each thinks of his own little interest. It is fear that is the guiding motive... When the greatest questions are debated, its members have been seen to stretch themselves and to doze. Sometimes the members talk away until the listeners are disgusted. Carlyle has called it the "talking shop of the world".'

'Members vote for their party without a thought. Their so-called discipline binds them to it. If any member, by way of exception, gives an independent vote, he is considered a renegade... Parliament is simply a costly toy of the nation. These views are by no means peculiar to me. Some great English thinkers have expressed them.'

It would be useful to examine how much of Gandhi ji's observations about the British parliament applies to the Indian Parliament today.

India is said to be the biggest democracy in the world. It is the biggest just because we are the most populated country. But is it really a democracy? Do people have any say in governance other than voting once every five years? So we have universal adult suffrage, but can just that be called democracy?

I elect someone once in five years. But in the next five years, neither do I have any say nor does my representative have any say in Parliament. That representative never gets back to me or consults me before voting in Parliament. After elections, he is under statutory obligation to take orders from his party and vote in accordance with the whip issued by his party on various issues.

MPs are reduced to bonded labour of their parties. If anyone dares to speak against his party, he could lose his membership.

For instance, the Congress has 207 members in Lok Sabha today. None of them can vote independently. They will have to vote according to what (Congress President) Sonia Gandhi decides. Likewise, the Bharatiya Janata Party has 114 members in the Lok Sabha. They will have to vote according to what (BJP President) Nitin Gadkari decides. Whips are used very frequently.

Ilyas Azmi, a former MP, says the Lok Sabha is a chessboard with 542 pawns who are controlled by the leaders of a few political parties.

Doesn't India become a dictatorship of the leaders of the ruling party in between two elections? These few men and women control Parliament and the executive for the next five years. They are influenced, either through money power or some other influences, by various lobbies.

Who are these leaders accountable to?

They are accountable to none. This is a very dangerous situation. So, we have a pretence of elections every five years, through which we hand over the country's control to a few individuals. And there is a very good understanding among the leaders of all parties.

They are different and separate only in name and for public consumption.

Behind the scenes, they are all the same, united and together. They publicly curse each other, but never punish each other when they come to power.

Else, how do you justify that the Bofors scam never reaches its logical end after several decades despite governments of all parties having been in power? Those from the Opposition are also well taken care of by the ruling party by giving contracts to their kin.

So, parliamentary democracy, as it exists today, has become a very well-oiled system to systematically loot the country. Public interest is incidental.

Is Parliament as sensitive to the pains and sorrows of the people of India as it is to its own members? When (Agriculture Minister) Sharad Pawar was slapped, Parliament moaned for two precious hours.

But when farmers commit suicide, when farmers died recently in police firing, when Narendra Kumar (the IPS officer) was murdered, the same Parliament did not spend even a few minutes on it.

They debate the Lokpal Bill for 42 years, yet don't pass it. But they pass the Bill to increase their own salaries within a few minutes.

Now, let us look at the character of the present Parliament. One hundred and sixty-two MPs in the Lok Sabha and more than 40 in the Rajya Sabha have pending criminal cases against them, and several others face serious allegations of corruption.

How can we expect them to ever pass Bills to strengthen the criminal justice system or to punish corruption? There is a direct conflict of interests.

And if you raise these fundamental questions, you are threatened with parliamentary privilege.

The biggest problem is that Parliament is completely disconnected with the people of India. There is no mechanism for the people to intervene in the affairs of Parliament, to direct Parliament to enact laws on particular subjects, to prevent it from passing certain other kind of laws.

The People are supreme, not Parliament.

But unfortunately, in the Indian system, people do not have any control, whatsoever, on the functioning of Parliament, once they cast their votes.

In several countries, through the mechanism of referendums, people are able to amend or nullify the laws passed by parliament. Through the mechanism of initiative, people are able to initiate enactment of laws. This not just enables people to directly intervene, it also keeps parliament on its toes and under check.

In India, as a beginning, why can't each MP be required to send a copy of a Bill to all the villages and municipal wards falling under his constituency? We can make a beginning with only certain types of Bills which have far-reaching consequences.

Let the people in each village and ward assemble as gram sabhas or mohalla sabhas, discuss the contents of the Bill and give their feedback to their MP. The suggestions received from all gram sabhas and mohalla sabhas could be compiled by the MP and presented as his opinion in Parliament to discuss and decide.

Keeping in view the defects of the party-system we have experienced so far, we  should consider even the abolition of party system so that the public is represented by the true leaders who would work sincerely for their public. If they don’t work, they will take it granted that they can be called back. For that, really, it would not be bad if we effectuate necessary amendments to the present system to enjoy true democracy, restore our democracy to its true sense and make ourselves proud of real democracy.

That would be real democracy.

Be Happy – Let Us Restore Our Democracy.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Be Happy – We May Ensure Better Law system.

As PTI reports on Mar 6, 2010, Andhra Pradesh High Court judge Justice V V Rao said, “ Indian judiciary would take 320 years to clear the backlog of 31.28 million cases pending in various courts including High courts in the country.”  "If one considers the total pendency of cases in the Indian judicial system, every judge in the country will have an average load of about 2,147 cases," Justice Rao had added, while delivering the keynote address on E-Governance in Judiciary.

At that time, it was mentioned that India had 14,576 judges as against the sanctioned strength of 17,641 including 630 High Court Judges working out to a ratio of 10.5 judges per million population whereas the Apex court in 2002 had suggested 50 judges per million population. If the norm of 50 judicial officers per million becomes reality by 2030 when the country's population would be 1.5 to 1.7 billion, the number of judges would go upto 1.25 lakh dealing with 300 million case.

The above position of our law system indicates alarming condition. We all agree that the Law is a system of rules and guidelines which are enforced through social institutions to govern behavior. Laws are made by governments, specifically by their legislatures. The formation of laws themselves is influenced by our constitution and the rights encoded therein. The law shapes politics, economics and society in countless ways and serves as a social mediator of relations between people.

The adjudication of the law is generally divided into two main areas. Criminal law deals with conduct that is designated dishonest by the government and in which the guilty party may be imprisoned or fined. Civil law deals with disputes between individuals or organizations, in which compensation may be awarded to the wronged litigant.

To implement and enforce the law and provide services to the public, a government's bureaucracy, the military and police are vital. While all these organs of the state are creatures created and bound by law, an independent legal profession and a vibrant civil society inform and support their progress.

Law provides a rich source of scholarly inquiry into legal history, philosophy, economic analysis and sociology. Law also raises important and complex issues concerning equality, fairness, and justice. This is what our forefathers might have cherished when they were carrying on the struggle for freedom. We got independence in 1947 but unluckily, so far we did not evolve our own Law system. 

We have forgotten that the Arthashastra and the Manusmriti  were foundational treatises in India, and comprise texts considered authoritative legal guidance. Manu's central philosophy was tolerance and Pluralism, and was cited across Southeast Asia. Before the arrival of the British in India, India was governed by laws based on The Arthashastra, dating from the 400 BC, and the Manusmriti from 100 AD. In fact there existed two codes of laws one the Hindu code of laws and the other Muslim code of laws. They were influential treatises in India, texts that were considered authoritative legal guidance. The Judiciary,the Executive, and the Legislature were the same person the King or the Ruler of the Land. But the villages had considerable independence, and had their own panchait system to resolve disputes among its members. This tradition in India continued beyond the Islamic conquest of India, and through to the Middle Ages. Islamic law "The Sharia" was applied only to the Muslims of the country.

The present Indian judicial system is descended from British colonial rule, and many of its characteristics appear on the surface identical to those of British courts. This British system of law, however, was unsuited to the needs of the Indian people. Even the last colonial administrators of India so acknowledged in 1945, three years before India gained full independence. Though it has come a long way, the Indian judicial system still lacks the resources to meet the needs of India's more than 1 billion citizens. We are still following hundreds of enactments which were made when the British ruled over us to meet their own administrative requirements of meeting targets of exploitation of our resources, having no concern with our development. Even we have kept more or less the same uniform of the Advocates what was prevalent before independence, though that is not suitable to the local climate. Even today, the proceedings of the Supreme Court and High Courts are conducted in English only which is used by less than two percent of Indians.

According to the World Bank, "although India's courts are notoriously inefficient, they at least comprise a functioning independent judiciary" A functioning judiciary is the guarantor of fairness and a powerful weapon against corruption. But people’s experiences in fall far short of this ideal. Corruption in the judiciary goes beyond the bribing of judges. Court personnel are paid off to slow down or speed up a trial, or to make a complaint go away. Judges are also subject to pressure from above, with legislators or the executive using their power to influence the judiciary, starting with skewed appointment processes. Citizens are often unaware of their rights, or resigned, after so many negative experiences, to their fate before a corrupt court. Court efficiency is also crucial, as a serious backlog of cases creates opportunities for demanding unscheduled payments to fast-track a case.

Indian courts have large backlogs. For instance, the Delhi High Court has a backlog of 466 years according to its chief justice. This is despite the average processing time of four minutes and 55 seconds in the court. As could be understood, the largest number of cases that are actually pending in the Indian Courts are that of minor Motor Vehicle Cases, petty crimes such as stealing, abusing, insult, slap, etc. It is an established fact which the Govt. of India accepts that there is 40% shortage of judicial staff. Opposition and ruling party's corrupt politicians profit from the delays in the system.

On January 12, 2012, a Supreme Court bench said that people's faith in judiciary was dwindling at an alarming rate, posing a grave threat to constitutional and democratic governance of the country. It sincerely acknowledged few of the serious problems such as -
  1. Large number of vacancies in trial courts,
  2. Unwillingness of lawyers to become judges,
  3. Failure of the apex judiciary in filling vacant HC judges posts.
It wanted to seek answers from the government on amicus curiae's suggestion that access to justice must be made a constitutional right and consequently the executive must provide necessary infrastructure for ensuring every citizen enjoyed this right. It also wanted the Government of India to detail the work being done by the National Mission for Justice Delivery and Legal Reforms.
Corruption is rampant in India's courts. The time has changed and the corrupt practices in all the levels of the judiciary have come to that stage that in recent times, the working of the judges of superior courts (High Courts and the Supreme Court) has come in for intense scrutiny and grave doubts have been cast against the conduct of some judges. 
The last two decades have marked the extraordinary rise of India. This has however been tinged with cynicism about our major democratic institutions and a pessimism about their future. The judiciary, which till now has been looked upon as the strongest pillar of Indian democracy, has been beset with unprecedented problems. In recent times, the working of the judges of superior courts (High Courts and the Supreme Court) has come in for intense scrutiny and grave doubts have been cast against the conduct of some judges. The pressing call for greater institutional accountability in the Indian judiciary is now stronger than ever. 

According to Transparency International, judicial corruption in India is attributable to factors such as "delays in the disposal of cases, shortage of judges and complex procedures, all of which are exacerbated by a preponderance of new laws". Most disturbing is the fact that corruption has reached the highest judicial forum,: 

  1. In December 2009, noted social activist, campaigner for judicial accountability and a Supreme Court lawyer Prashant Bhushan in response to the notice of contempt issued by the Supreme Court (for his interview to a news magazine in which he had said, "out of the last 16 to 17 Chief Justices, half have been corrupt"), filed an affidavit standing by his earlier comments saying: "It is My Honest And Bonafide Perception". Later In September 2010, he submitted a supplementary affidavit in which he submitted evidence to back his allegations. In November 2010, former Law Minister, Shanti Bhushan echoed Prashant Bhushan's claim saying: “It is my firm belief that there is a lot of corruption in judiciary. I am saying the same thing which Prashant Bhushan had said. The question of apology does not arise. I will rather prefer to go to jail. The judiciary cannot be cleansed unless the matter is brought into the public domain”.
  2. In June 2011, a very widely respected former Chief Justice of India J. S. Verma echoed these views saying that "certain individuals with doubtful integrity were elevated within the higher judiciary" He cited the case of Justice M. M. Punchhi, whose impeachment had been sought by the campaign for judicial accountability. Justice Verma said he was willing to permit the allegations to be probed but the political executive refused to allow this. Justice Verma further explained, "Because the allegations, if proved, were serious and therefore they required to be investigated, so that one could know whether they were true or not." He acknowledged that Justice Punchhi was later elevated to CJI despite facing "serious allegations". Justice Verma also talked about another former CJI K G Balakrishnan's continuance as National Human Rights Commission chairman. Justice Verma said, "He should have demitted long back and if he doesn't do it voluntarily, the government should persuade him to do that, otherwise, proceed to do whatever can be done to see that he demits office."
  3. In November 2011, a former Supreme Court Justice Ruma Pal slammed the higher judiciary for what she called the seven sins. She listed the sins as:
    1. Turning a blind eye to the injudicious conduct of a colleague
    2. Hypocrisy – the complete distortion of the norm of judicial independence
    3. Secrecy – the fact that no aspect of judicial conduct including the appointment of judges to the High and Supreme Court is transparent
    4. Plagiarism and prolixity - meaning that very often SC judges lift whole passages from earlier decisions by their predecessors and do not acknowledge this – and use long-winded, verbose language
    5. Self Arrogance – wherein the higher judiciary has claimed crass superiority and independence to mask their own indiscipline and transgression of norms and procedures
    6. Professional arrogance – whereby judges do not do their homework and arrive at decisions of grave importance ignoring precedent or judicial principle
    7. Nepotism – wherein favors are sought and dispensed by some judges for gratification of varying manner.
The above are some submissions and abstracts of the various reports about our judicial system. Since we agree that we need improvement of our system, we may join hands to get appropriate changes, some of them can be amongst below:
1.   The E-courts project was established in the year 2005. According to the project, all the courts including taluk courts will get computerized. As per the project in 2008, all the District courts were initialized under the project. In 2010, all the District court were computerized. The entry of back log case has started. The IT department had one system officer and two system assistants in each court. They initiated that the services in the Supreme Court in June 2011. The case lists of most district courts are available in This website is updated daily. Now the establishment work is going on taluk courts. The project also include producing witnesses through video conference. Filing cases, proceedings, and all other details will be in computers. Similarly, it should include working of the Police Station also to ensure that  First Incident Reports be lodged on internet. The complainants, unable to do so, should be provided assistance through the network of the post offices/other government offices against nominal fee. The police usually do not register all the cases to keep their work at minimum level. If bribed suitably, they book even the fake reports. By putting the FIR on net, their undue discretion would be eliminated.
2.  After the case is registered online, an Investigating Officer be assigned immediately to file a preliminary report within the shortest period with legal opinion whether a case can be instituted or not. If the case is grievous, that be formalized after legal opinion and the alleged persons be arrested to be given to the judicial custody with proper respect. The police may take on remand for further inquiry. Until then, the complaint will not be made a public document to avoid escaping of the alleged persons.
3.   The trial must start within 30 days of the arrests so made and be finished within 90 days keeping the proceedings on net.
4.    The dates and attendance should also be marked on net and the cases must be taken on serial basis in the courts.
5.   The Magistrates/judges must be asked to have presence on the dais itself. All the meetings etc. and office work be conducted after 3 PM.
6.      No strike be allowed. Limited public offs excluding those based on religious matters be allowed in the judicial system.
7.    Copies of the judgments and the documents of evidence value accepted in the courts be made freely available by downloading.
8.    Summons/warrants must be issued automatically to the persons the Court desires. The litigants should not be expected to do pairvi once the Court takes cognizance of the cases.
9. Every court must dispose of all the applications on the date fixed. The prosecution/litigants should be alert enough to provide the information within time.
10.  Every case must be decided through jury system so that the emotions/personal views of a single judge may not harm the interests of the litigants.
11. Every Advocate should be permitted to have a limited number of cases in hand and maximum ceiling of the fee including expenses as per relative section of the acts under which the case is being registered, so that they are able to prepare fully for each case. There must be an age limit for the practicing advocates to participate in active court proceedings.
12. Supreme Court must have only full bench in national capital, the smaller benches must be set up in the State Capitals. Similarly, High Courts should have full benches in State Capitals and the smaller benches should be set up at Divisional levels.
13. Every Advocate, Magistrate, Judge and employee associated must declare the worth of his assets every year. The details can be open to the concerned Income Tax Officer only.
14.The proceedings of all the courts be preferred in vernacular language and national language, Hindi. Those persons who do not understand vernacular and national language may ask for the translation in the language against nominal expenses.

I welcome those friends who may add up their suggestions so that we may ensure better law system for better society.

Be Happy – We May Ensure Better Law system.