One of the biggest mistakes that we make when trying to influence or persuade others is to deliver our presentation based on what we think is right, fair and is making sense in the same terms as we understand and wish to explain.
In other words, we generally assume that the most effective way to gain compliance from others is to prevail upon them. No, it is not so. The reality is that when we try to persuade someone, we must first gain their attention. This can be quite challenging, because most people really don't listen, they just simply remain quiet and wait for their turn to talk, making gossips with the person sitting in the next seat or just waiting for the end of the meeting.
Every time we make a presentation based on our point of view, all we do is reinforce the behavior characterized by our audience, ironically not listening to us; just simply waiting for their turn to talk, making gossips with the person sitting in the next seat or just waiting for the end of the meeting.
“The key to gaining their attention quickly and engaging them is to construct our presentation around their view of the world; as opposed to ours”, it is the experience of the learned people, I noted.
Remember if everyone saw the world the same way and shared the same opinions, there would be no need to influence and persuade as everyone would naturally be in compliance with one another. Every person has different opinion but for the purpose of reconciliation or self-interest, he adjusts himself to certain extent with you to take benefit – it does not matter whether that benefit is against some consideration or that person wishes to maintain his cordiality with you.
The method by which we may construct our presentation around their view of the world is by determining their representational systems. You know! Representational systems are nothing more than the way we think, talk, understand and represent the world.
How may we represent? There are three recognized representational systems – visual, auditory and kinesthetic.
Visual people relate to the world generally by the way they see things.
When they speak, they will use terms like “I see, what you're saying” or “I can see why you would think that way”.
Visual people like to see the world in terms of pictures. Therefore, creating a visual story or painting a picture for someone with this representational system will be more effective than anything else you might attempt. Visual people also like to observe others and maybe fascinated with photography or things that generally involve admiration or envisioning. These people also enjoy reading and watching movies very much.
What's interesting is that they usually remember names as a result of a visual cue that they received. An example would be how something about a person's face that they just met would remind them of the person's name.
Visual people are also very concerned with their appearance, and they work better when following directions that are clearly written down. When trying to influence a visual thinker, your best bet is to provide them with written documentation in the form of directions, proof or a general explanation of what you're speaking about.
Auditory people like to listen to assimilate information.
This type of people loves to take clearly a note of what it is that they are being told. They also enjoy talking with others and conversation is something that they find very interesting. I have seen many judicial officers in the court prefer to listening the arguments instead of getting them in writing though personally I feel it is not a good practice on their part as in vocal arguments, personal methods, adopted by the advocates, of delivery and disturbance in attention by the presiding officer(s) can affect the justice process.
For auditory people, their world is represented by sound; therefore, to get their attention and engage them, you must say something that sounds very appealing to them.
Just as visual people like to look at directions, auditory people would rather hear directions read out loud by someone else, because retaining the information by looking at it can be difficult for them, whereas hearing it is much easier for them.
Auditory people like to use phrases like, “that sounds good”, “and that is clear as a bell ”and“ listen to me”.
Simply put, auditory people understand spoken language more than anything else. Therefore, when making a presentation to them, focus more on the way that you're saying things as opposed to writing things down or trying to create a vision for them.
The third type of representational system is called kinesthetic.
People who fall into this category relate to the world, make decisions and behave based upon the way something feels to them. You could call them touchy-feely people. They relate to both touch and motion.
These people assimilate information through their sense of touch. And because of this, they are very skilled in certain areas. As an example, they are typically known to acquire a physical skill faster than the average person.
Common phrases that you may hear come out of the mouth of a person who is kinesthetic say things like “callus” or “all washed up”. They may also use phrases like, “I feel you” or “that feels right”.
They also like to give analogies that relate to the way you would feel if certain event took place. As an example, instead of saying “I was really mad”, they would say something like “my blood was boiling”.
The key to any persuasion attempt is to build rapport.
Rapport is basically the connection that you create with someone which lowers their guards and makes them more receptive to your presentation. One of the most effective ways to build rapport is by determining which representational system a person has.
If you find in your conversation with them that they use phrases like” seeing your point” or “looking ahead to the future”, chances are this person is a visual thinker and you should communicate with them in a way that is conducive to their representational system.
Aside from understanding your message more clearly, they will also feel naturally connected to you as people generally feel bonded or connected to those that remind them of themselves or those with whom they have things in common with.
The next time you begin a conversation with someone, start paying attention to the way they communicate. You'll begin to notice that people generally fall into one of these three categories and you will be better equipped to communicate with them.
Now there will be times where people are using multiple representational systems but generally there is one dominant system that controls their outlook on life.
A Powerful Tool To Create Desire In Anyone…..
Have you ever had a dream that felt so real that when you woke up, you thought the dream was your reality? The reason this happens is because the mind does not understand the difference between reality and imagination.
In other words, it cannot distinguish the difference between what you visualize in your mind as opposed to what you actually experience in life.
This is extremely powerful knowledge. And the reason I say this is because all things in life are nothing more than energy in vibration. And energy attracts energy of the same kind. Therefore, if you can effectively visualize yourself doing something, you will at some point attract that reality into your life.
The second reason why this fact is so powerful is because every time we do something we become better at it. Experience enables us to be better prepared every time we come across a challenging encounter or situation.
And since the mind can't tell the difference between a “real” situation and one that you've imagined, if you continuously visualize that situation, you will be well-prepared for it when it takes place in reality.
Now imagine how powerful it would be if you could help other people create a crystal-clear vision of themselves in the future doing what you want them to do. This would be extremely helpful in influencing people and gaining compliance.
I want to tell you about future pacing. Future pacing, essentially, is when you take the person that you're speaking with and mentally bring them into a future event, where they can clearly see themselves doing something.
You can improve yourself by recording the people's representational systems and determining whether they're auditory kinesthetic or visual, you can now use future pacing to help you once you figure out which category a person falls into.
For example, let's assume that you're talking with someone who is an auditory thinker and you are trying to sell them a car. One of the most effective ways to get them to purchase that car is to tell them to imagine themselves in that brand-new car driving down the highway listening to the rev of the engine and their favorite music playing in the background.
If you are dealing with a visual person, you would tell them to imagine themselves driving the car seeing the sunset and watching the trees blow in the wind as they got closer to the beach.
And if they were kinesthetic, you could tell them to imagine what it would feel like to be in the car smelling the brand-new leather and feeling the sun gently warm their skin as they cruise down the highway.
You have now done two things; first you have begun to align their thinking with the future reality that you want. So the attraction process has now begun. The second thing that you have done is by tapping into their representational system and creating a presentation based on that information. You have created a strong desire that this person will now want to bring to reality.
You have now embedded change into this person's future and you have given them the opportunity to experience what you're offering in a positive manner before they actually get to that point.
Now, the key is to show what you have to offer can help fill the desire that you have created by helping the person visualize the future.
If you can effectively do that, the person with whom you're speaking to will be genuinely interested in what you have to offer, because they see value in it. And the reason why they see value in it is because you've created a desire within their mind and presented the solution that will help them in the form of whatever it is that you're offering. This way, you may likely to win your audience by modifying yourself according to the nature of the audience.
Be Happy – Win Your Audience By Modifying Yourself.