Be Happy – Develop Your Personality (Part - 3)

Whenever we talk about someone having good personality, we talk about his harmoniously developed nature, his greatness in heart and mind, having intense feelings about his own interests and other’s interests as well. We talk about his meaning the feelings, his style of working out the solution, organizing the infrastructure to implement and acting upon them at the first opportunity. We talk about his self determination and self confidence in resolutions. It is not important that our immediate talks may contain so many words or so many subjects about him but our conclusions imply positively some of them. We agree that good personality charms everyone - our friends, our girl/boy friends, our employer, our colleagues and all those who come in contact with us. We take a little period to convince everyone if we have good personality. Since it plays a vital role in improvement of our health, incomes, job-elevation, social status, our educational levels etc., we need to attach due importance to this virtue and continue to develop and improve it.

What is the real personality?

A layman refers to the good personality as good physical appearance of someone. But it is not so. Our physique plays a vital role in leaving behind, the first impression to all those who come in contact. For the afterwards and permanent impressions, we need to nurture well enough our inner body also. Inner body refers to our heart and soul. Heart, we can say, is an important base of our life but its beats increase or decrease according to emotions also. Mind is represented by brain of the body. Brain is physical organ whereas mind processes the information in coordination with the feelings of the heart. Our outer body is not intelligent, it is dictated by our heart and mind to act upon for some suggested attempt or react upon some action taken, in process or likely to be taken. Whether we need to participate or ensure our absence is all decided by our heart and mind.

What does our experience do?

We know that our body decays every moment but our mind prospers with experience. It keeps records of all moments and warns us, alerts us in time, if we go to do something. It is our ego that listens or ignores such warnings on each issue. Ego prefers our pleasures. But pleasure is not our goal – the most of times, pleasures are self-centric. For real development of our personality, we need to gain knowledge instead of pleasures. Pleasure does not teach you as much as your miseries do. Miseries bring about the knowledge of your wrong doings and help you improve further. It does not mean that you must afford miseries to learn something. No, you can observe as Lord Budha did. He renounced all the princely comforts when he saw someone old or dead. For good personality, we must develop the feel of others – what others may think about our acts before we may go on to work or speak. If we balance our working or speaking for other’s welfare too, it would definitely leave behind the permanent impression.

Why is attainment of wisdom necessary?

Good personality does not intend for sense-satisfaction. It is not the goal of humanity. Instead, we need to attain wisdom. We find some time a man enjoys the pleasures which can not be imagined by animals – beyond sense-satisfaction. Here is the difference between man and animal. It is his spiritual knowledge. Unluckily, some fanatics make the comforts as part of some religion and put their stamp over them. No real religion teaches us to be self-centric. Attainment of wisdom must be made a part of our personality. It can not be learnt by going to schools and colleges only. The principles of Nature, our anxiety and our sense of selfless service to the creatures, our sense of good and bad, morals and the feel of other’s pain can facilitate the way of gaining wisdom.

Why is our character so important?

Every work that we do, every movement of the body, every thought that we think leaves such an impression on our mind – they may not be obvious on the surface, they can work under the surface subconsciously. What we are at any moment is the sum of all such impressions on our mind. They are display of our personality and part of our character. If impressions on my mind are good, I would command a good character. If a man lives in bad company, hears bad words, utters bad words, thinks bad about others, the impressions upon his mind would be bad and he won’t be able to measure up actively if he is doing some bad thing, is bad for him also. Man becomes machine in the hands of such impressions. It is therefore necessary that we should try to get good company – good company means remaining in or around good people only, may like to hear good words, avoid bad words and think good only. His mind won’t allow him to proceed further to do some thing bad for some one if the impressions on his mind are already good. When we say that Mr.X is good, it means that in our thoughts, he is good by character also and we have no bad example of his previous working with us or with someone known to us, to depreciate his image. We can not adjudge the character of a person by his peculiar action as every fool may become a hero at one time or other. We will have to watch that man doing common things also. That will tell his reality. Great occasions arouse even the lowest person at some opportunity but great persons do great things always – whether they are common matters or some special performances.

Why must we have patience and satisfaction?

Patience is the virtue of good persons. Great work requires great and persistent efforts for a long time. Neither need to trouble us if a few of them fail. It is in the nature of things that many may fail to make one win. It should be assumed that some other person is also having same interests as you have. If you are making efforts to win, that gentleman must be doing his best to win. When you come face to face, you will find him opposing you. You need to have patience and gather the better tools to fight out the win. If you do not have, you may lose. You need to be satisfied with your efforts even if they do not bear fruits. You must study them and improve in future efforts. You know! The men with mighty will the world has produced have all been tremendous workers – gigantic souls with powerful wills had overturned the history of world many times. That was due to their patience and their satisfaction with the previous acts – satisfaction promotes you, inspires you to gather more energy with positive fire of working.

Why do we need a sense of security?

Today, we all are like stray dogs having an opportunity to enter into a kitchen left open mistakenly. We are fighting over a piece of loaf with fear in mind that before we take, someone can come in and drive all of us out and that loaf upon which we are fighting may not be shared by us. It is pity of us that in spite of having got such a beautiful earth to live upon, we are living like stray dog. We must develop ourselves to live like a king. We have been such due to our greed. If we all determine that we would take our genuine share, why should other person disturb us? We can think over it mentally and our body would definitely respond one day. You must not desire more than you deserve. If you meet your desire beyond your means and your eligibility, sure, it will bring terrible problems along with. You will have to increase its security and in worry, you may not be able to enjoy the fruits also. You need a sense of security for happy living and for that, you must make genuine desires as part of your personality.

Why must we control our negative emotions?

Good personality means we must have four sorts of ideas –
1. We must try to develop friendship for all,
2. We must be merciful towards those who are in misery, without caring for caste, color or creed,
3. We must be happy when the people around us are happy – that means we must participate in their pleasures instead of getting jealous, and
4. We must be indifferent with the wicked persons as they may give rise of ill thoughts in our mind too.
For these virtues to gain, we must give up negative emotions. Negativity causes a lot of problems in our day to day life and takes away a lot of our time, energy, and even finance with goodwill too. Every vicious thought rebounds. Every thought of hatred which you may have thought in a cave even far from the place of target becomes a part of your sub-consciousness and can come back one day with tremendous power and compound interest at that time you might have never thought that you might have to see the miseries in result thereof. To get out of the net, you must not have any jealousy with the progress of others. Instead you may try to get the progress yourself or appreciate their success. Take it sportingly, you will win one day.

Why should you change yourself first?

With the advancements and progress we are making, we are getting more and more busy with our material achievements and less and less with ourselves. Why? Our material achievements are now more important than our relationships. We do not attach any importance to the work of our parents how they brought up us and why we owe our origin to them. We have started to consider that we are the results of their sexual enjoyments only and hence, we need not to be worry about their needs and their comforts. We forget how many nights our mother lost in giving comforts to us. We forget how much labor our father might have undertaken to provide us proper feeds and environment. Do we seek same treatment from our progeny? The simple question is why we see evil in others. Are we not ourselves an evil? Due to generation gap, we understand our parents on the wrong side. But we forget that they have seen the world more than our age and got tremendous experience to ascertain what is right and wrong. May be new advancements are not in their knowledge – we can reconcile them. We must change ourselves first to expect others to do so.

Since personality development is crucial for our success and our happiness and still has more dimensions to think upon, we may discuss further in the next post. For the time being, we may concentrate on the above details in this process.

Be Happy - Develop Your Personality Further.