Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Be Happy – Your failure Can Ensure Your Success

Is it possible to love without attachment? We do have so much love to give, but is it the right kind of love? We tend to feel a kind of ownership over all that we love whether we own that thing or not. It is easier to utter the words ‘I love you’ than to actually mean it. Love is perceived in many different ways. My mother would say: “Love, but never be possessive of what you love. Once you are possessive, you might claim ‘this is mine”.

There is a hierarchy of love - right on top parents, spouse, children, siblings, other family and friends. Love stops here and further down the ladder it becomes ‘like’. We must love all as if our own. It is universal love. This is not easy to follow but maybe we could try. For starters, we could do little things that make people smile. A kind word or tone would not take away from you but give a lot the other person. If you want peace and if you want happiness, you must live in love. Only through love will you find inner peace. Only through love will you find true happiness. Love flourishes through giving and forgiving. Develop your love! Immerse yourself in love! Love is the basis of everything It is the single most important quality that has to be developed. All your thoughts must become immersed in this quality of love… then truth will naturally establish itself in your heart. Never feel disheartened if you do not get results in your love. Your love with someone must be free of your interests. If you fail in earlier instances to win anyone’s heart, you should not feel disappointed. Your consistency can ensure success.

On this earth, we are all here on a journey granted to us for a limited period. Along the way we find several co-travelers who become part of our lives but they too have their own destination. People who serve are Godlike: their service should be appreciated, whether they belong to your peer group or not. We need to learn to love without attachment. We love those who we feel are ours. What about the rest? Why is an amazing emotion like love saved only for those few people who we perceive as ours? For instance, how might one learn to love the person who has wronged us? I guess I would say OK, don’t love, but at least try not to hate. That is an improvement.

Now, we may have look on materialism. It is true that things can never bring you happiness. Once you’ve bought something, its value diminishes. At first I used to think that was not true, but in time I learnt that it is one of the few truths in life. I constantly try and make an effort to not get attached to ‘things’ now because at the end of the day they are things. This doesn’t mean don’t shop, don’t want… it means realize that actual happiness cannot be attained from anything external. Enjoy all the things you have and be grateful for it, as that too is the grace of God but do not expect it to give you anything. I find my peace every evening as I sit by myself and watch the sun set. That is when I feel real joy. The sun sets with such ease and that is how we should be.

I would get attached to songs and smells! Some smells can take you back in time and songs too can transport you to old memories. It is nice to remember but if we dwell on the past we are missing out on the present; we tend to miss out on new smells and songs as we’re so preoccupied with the old. We have to let go because holding on to something does not give us ownership rights. So much baggage! To enjoy the journey, travel light. In other words, practise loving detachment. Love your failure – it can ensure your success.

A successful venture capitalist, Peter Morgan Kash had raised millions of dollars and started up dozens of successful bio-pharma companies. He has also lectured on entrepreneurship at the Wharton School of Business and Japan’s Nihon University. One of the earliest lessons he learnt was that there is no success without failure. He started working on wall street at the age of 21 and by 30 made a sizable fortune. “But in no time, I lost virtually all of it,” he writes in his book, Make Your Own Luck: Success Tactics You Won’t Learn in Business School. “What made the loss particularly difficult was that my setback was due entirely to my own poor judgment. No one had squandered my success except me.’

As it turned out, this period became one of the richest and most educational times of the New York businessman’s life. He went on to have several successes. “But I do believe that I would never have had them, if I had not failed so spectacularly early on,” he mentioned recently. “In our culture, people tend to think of failure as a static condition or a termination point at which a person’s inability to achieve their goals, aims and desires becomes apparent. This is often viewed as a more or less permanent condition. That, however, is completely erroneous understanding of failure.”

After studying the lives of dozens of successful entrepreneurs, Kash found that all people who succeed go through periods of their lives when al their efforts seem to fail. Yet what separated boys was not failure per se, but how they responded to difficult times.” Remember that a negative multiplied by a negative can be a positive. He says. “Today I realize that life is wave pattern – there are ups and downs, good times and bad. Life doesn’t stop at any one point on the wave. Success and failure are just two words we use to describe different points on the wave. Wherever you may find yourself on the wave, know that this is temporary,” he explains.

But as a doer, he also has anti dotes: first, listen to your heart, on what you truly want and then never give up. Listen also to your critics, although you must not measure yourself by their take. Learn to pay the price of success. Finally, have faith in yourself and the web of life. Even a negative from someone can lead to a positive outcome.

Be Happy – Your failure Can Ensure Your Success

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